Just Venting

long time no write

2008-03-31T22:26:00.002-04:00

wow its been forever since i was here last. life is still just as mundane as ever.

i didnt get into the nursing program i applied to and i am kind of bummed about that. But i am looking on the bright side and seeing it as a well deserved break from school until next year when i can apply again. (and to more schools).

work is going well. i am on days, 1st shift (but not as early as i used to!) I applied for my certification (for phlebotomy) so maybe that may pay off one day. school is almost over, thank god. i need that break pretty bad. i am getting pretty burned out.

i am also sick again. this would be the 4th time in 4 months i have strep thoat/tonsilitus. it sucks. i am thinking of having my doctor refer me to an ENT to check out my tonsils. i hate being sick with this crap - its extra sucky. anyway, thats all i got. i think i am going to bed.

thank god i have tomorrow off.

it's been a while

2007-11-04T15:34:00.000-05:00

wow, its been a little while since i was last here huh? Of course, besides my uncle bob i dont think anyone really reads this anymore... (hi uncle bob! -hey see that link that says "comment" - click it and leave me a comment!!!)

anyway. So much is going on. my sister anna got married, i went on my cruise with the boyfriend, i am moving out this month...i wish i had time for details, but i just dont. I can tell you that the wedding was super fun and went off with out a hitch. My cruise was awesome. me and joe had a spectacular time and got alot talked about regarding our relationship and the direction it is going to be going in. I found a little house to rent and am moving out sometime this month. i am so excited about that!

Well, i have more homework to do, so that is all for now.

Where i've been

2007-09-05T21:53:00.001-04:00

Hello. I know, i know, i keep saying i am going to start writing again, but lets face it...i'm not. I want to, i really do, I just don't have the time anymore. Or rather, I can't justify the time anymore. I need to be spending most of my available free time on my studies or with my kid. Those are the 2 more important things right now and I dont want to jeopardize them in any way.

So, when i have had time lately, instead of logging on to blogger, i have been logging on to my classes website and reading the supplemental information, or doing the homework that is assigned, but not turned in, or reviewing the last few days of lecture notes...you get it.

Anyway, things are going good, so thats nice. Anna's wedding is coming up and that means my cruise is coming up and i CANT WAIT!! that's gonna rock. Of course, it will suck missing a full week of school, but i somehow feel it will be well worth the extra work when i return. ;)

Well, it's off to shower and get ready for bed. I've got class in the am. Night night.

hello

2007-08-09T13:41:00.000-04:00

How is it going? i am never here anymore, i know. I wonder who the few readers are who still stop by... It's funny, i have more time, technically, to write this, but it's during the day when my very active 3 year old is home. and he just doesnt understand when mommy says she cant play because she has to blog. Blog? what is that? does it involve trucks or dirt or dinosaurs? and since it doesnt involve any of those things nor will i let him type (i am still missing my "shift" key) he has no patience for me on the computer. and when a 3 year old loses his patience it is a very noisy ordeal. And now that my dad works from home and is always on the phone and his office is right off the kitchen, we cant be having that. so usually i dont even try.

Besides, i really dont have much to write about. just the same ole same ole. nothing very exciting. I am getting ready for school to start in 2 weeks, adjusting to my new work schedule and trying to figure out the meaning of life. not much really to say. Although, next week I am taking a mini-vacation to Tampa so I can see a concert so that should be fun. The 2 1/2 hour drive wont be, but everything else will be. i am looking forward to it. i find it amazing all the fees and crap ticketmaster tacks on to the price of a ticket tho. unreal. 2 $10 lawn tickets turned into a total of $45 with everything. ugh.

my son has begun to really sing along to his Laurie Berkner Band DVD (and CD) and it is so cute. I love it. He wont do it always if i am in the room with him, but as long as he doesnt think i am watching he will really get into it. If he sees me watching, he will tell me to go and sit down somewhere else or tell me to read or color or something so that i am otherwise occupied. it's adorable. of course its not adorable when he wont eat his lunch or be pleasant in anyway like he is today. argh. he has started doing this whiny-the-world-is-ending freak out thing and it is very much not cool.

well, i have to go pick up the dog from the groomers, we just shaved off all his courage. (the shorter his hair, the wimpier he is!)

hello

2007-07-18T22:39:00.000-04:00

well i am in my first week of my new shift at work: 3rd. Yes, i went from 1st to 3rd. From being at work at 4am to not going in until 7pm. i get more hours in less days. plus benefits and all that. And it leaves me with the week off to do other crap. like nothing (which is what i did for most of today) or school (which starts in august). and i get paid more. there is a differential for working 3rd shift, and another for working weekends. i get both. ;) (its not a whole lot, but its still more!) So far, i like it. i only just started, but hey, i am optimistic. One thing thats nice is that you are on your own. there's no one to really bug you because they are being lazy, or in a bad mood. but that can be a downside too, if it's an unusually slow night, there's no one to talk to, and if there's a patient that is a difficult stick, that can suck too. but i can always bring a book or my computer and i will have homework to work on come august. and even tho there times when i just can't get a patient, it doesnt happen too often. So...i am happy.

I have my window open right now in my room and there is a bee buzzing against my screen. hopefully i can get the bugger out when i try to shut my window. we have those crank windows so a bug can get trapped in between the window and the screen and that buzzing will drive me nuts! that is why i dont normally open that window, but with my new desk...it has a shelf that comes higher than the window crank on my other window and i am too short to reach over it. ;)
I bought school supplies today. yae. i think after either this paycheck or the next one i will pay my tuition and buy my books. no waiting until the last minute like usual. (at least before i had financial aid and my tuition was automatically deferred and paid so i didnt have to worry about it) i dont want to have any problems with forgetting to pay on time and getting dropped from my classes (that has happened to me and my two sisters...what a pain trying to get back into your classes the day before!) anyway. books are going to be pricey this year. luckily my sister is finishing one of the classes i need and they are using the same book, so thats $140 i dont have to spend. I still have to get the lab manual, and even that's expensive, but i'm saving some money at least.

well, not really alot to talk about.

i started getting my legs waxed. it is so awesome. I dont know why i didnt do this before. well, ya i do, i thought it was a waste of money and vain and all that, but if i want smooth legs (which i do, i wear shorts most of the year, its hot as hell here in florida, and my leg hair is dark & there's a lot of it) i have to shave at least 2 times a week. and my legs hated me for it. i went thru razors so fast, and i use the expensive mach3... so i had received a gift card to this spa and decided to try it out, since i wasnt spending my money on it and now i am hooked. i've been 3 times in about 8 or 9 weeks. she said it takes about 3 sessions before everything starts growing at the same rate and then we can probably start spacing the sessions out even farther. some people only have to come once every 6-7 weeks. even tho some of the hair has grown back before each time, it was sparse and didnt look like i hadnt shaved. and there's no razor burn or nicks or dry skin...it's so cool. theres also no 5-o-clock shadow thing the next day either. it takes days for there to be any prickley at all and even then, its nothing compared to how it used to be. i love it and am officially recommending it to everyone. it doesnt hurt, (sure it stings for a second, but its nothing!) and it lasts! ok. i am done. just wanted to share that with everyone. (all 3 of you still out there reading this)

well, i am going to bed now. i am trying to figure out how i am going to get a nap in sometime tomorrow before i go into work. i picked up a shift tomorrow night and need to sleep a little before i go in...maybe logan will go to daycare tomorrow for a few hours (he normally only goes mon, wed, fri)...or maybe the sitter will want a few bucks. we'll see.

nitey nite.

fever

2007-07-01T00:41:00.001-04:00

I hate when logan is sick. and he has been for 5 days now. He's had a fever that has ranged from 100 to 104.2 for 5 days. We finally took him to the emergency room and of course once we get there he started to act like he felt fine. Of course for the last five days he has done nothing but sit like a lump on the couch and whimper about how crappy he feels. So they didnt run any bloodwork to for sure rule out a bacterial infection but they did a strep test and it came back negative and they said he didnt have any other symptoms to suggest anything but a virus. and that it should just work itself out.

I still feel uneasy about the fact he has had a fever for this many days. They said to follow up with his doctor on monday. So thats what we will do. And if he still has a fever i will demand some sort of bloodwork to rule out other things.

I was supposed to work my 2nd night of 3rd shift training tonight, but because we got back so late and i got so little sleep today because of him being sick, i am not going in. Which is ok b/c they really dont need me, but it would be nice if i were there. plus that is 10 hours of work i am missing out on. at a higher rate of pay b/c it was for the weekend and 3rd shift... bummer.

Well, i am going to bed now. i am hoping when we wake up tomorrow everyone is healthy. ;)

--

i am a student...

2007-06-26T16:15:00.000-04:00

...Again!

Well, i registered for classes! My form went thru already at school and i was able to register for Chemistry, Microbiology and Anatomy & Physiology 1. I start in August. This will be a hard semester. ;)

Oh well. my outlook is if i really want this, i will do just fine. just like i have in the past.

anyway.

sick kid

2007-06-26T09:35:00.000-04:00

I hate it when my son is sick. Because as a mom, you just want to fix everything and make it better and most times when they're sick, you just cant do anything. Logan had a really good day yesterday. He went to bed decent and seeming like he felt just fine. But then he woke up this morning mopey and crying and with a fever. He's been on the couch all morning. I offered him the tylenol soft chew things instead of the liquid, just to see if he would take them, and he ate them but he didnt like the way they tasted, gagged when he tried to swallow and ended up throwing up all the chocolate milk he'd had this morning. gross. so i gave him some water and some regular liquid tylenol and now he's asleep and his fever is down. *sigh* and it's not even 10.

I knew today wasn't going to be fun... when i woke up at 4 am (on my day off!) b/c my hand was aching so bad. It was raining out and i was sleepy, so i just went back to sleep. Or i tried to. My hand was aching so badly it kept waking me up. So finally just before 7-i did get up and ran a really hot bath to soak in. It sort of helped. a little. but it still hurts pretty bad today. oh well. not much to do about it really. I took my meds, i soaked it, i am using it and stretching it out and all that, so...

Anyway...I put in my admission forms at school. I am attending ucf, but going to take classes at the community college (its cheaper and closer) so i am waiting for the transient student forms to be processed and then i can register for classes. Yae. but I am getting all nervous when i really stop and think about it, i am taking these prereqs for this nursing program that i cant apply for until the end of the fall semester, but before jan 15th. And it's pretty competitive. something like 150 apply, but only 60 get in. So if i dont get in, where does that leave me? hmmm...So altho i dont want to focus on that and get myself all stressed out, i do sort of need a back up plan. right? i think i do. I have decided not to tell everyone yet about my plan to be a nurse just in case i dont get in.

Well, i am going to lay on the couch with my boy.

some wedding pics

2007-06-23T22:38:00.001-04:00

scanning

2007-06-19T13:15:00.000-04:00

well, i am beginning the boring task of scanning in the first of many pictures from my sister's wedding. My mom didnt get them all developed to a cd, so i am scanning in the good ones. And the scanner is soooo slow. (if i want them scanned at a decent rate) so...i am in the office (where the scanner is) and kathleen is in the kid room with logan keeping him entertained so that i can do this without him asking to "play" (play = watch noggin on the pc).

this really is quite boring. i can only fit 3-4 pics at a time.

So...how's life?

life is going good here. nothing super exciting. i have an appointment to go speak with an adviser at ucf about their accelerated nursing program, so thats good. and i got my $.75 raise at work for getting my degree..yae. I am just waiting for the full time 3rd shift/weekend position to post so that i can put in for that. then i will be happy. ;)

well, i have absolutely nothing to say. so see ya.

a new plan?

2007-06-08T14:48:00.001-04:00

So i think i have a new plan. And it's one that everyone in my life totally supports.

I think i will become a nurse. There is an accelerated program for people who already have bachelors degrees to get a bachelors in nursing in 1 year (full time, summer, fall, spring, summer). And since there is such a nursing shortage, i would never have trouble finding work. so that is what i am thinking about now.

(I am so indecisive in my life, huh?)

Anyway. I am making an appointment to go to talk to the person in charge of the program at UCF (i am awaiting a response to my email...) I would have a few prereqs to take but I could do that at the community college here in town... And if i go for this program, i am going to buy a new car. Mine just wont make another year of driving back and forth an hour each way to school, and my dad is willing to co-sign if i am getting a degree in something i will have no problem getting a job in...so...

anway, thats all about me. Logan is getting so big. I cant believe he turns 3 the end of the month. it really starts to go by fast!! I think i am going to get him this really cool tool bench with all sorts of parts to make a mess with and realistic tools. We are having a pool party for him. I cant wait. potty training is coming along very slowly, but at least it's coming along. it had stopped for a while there, but it seems to be moving along again.

anyway, gotta take the boy outside before he has a cow.

-

and i thought i would be here...

2007-06-04T13:37:00.000-04:00

i thought when school was over, i would have more time to blog, but it turns out, not really. Granted, i am not nearly as busy as i was a few months ago, but i fill my time up pretty good. i get to play with logan until bedtime and then i am worn out myself and turn in too.

so how is life? it's good here. i am a little bummed out because it turns out i got a degree that is not in high demand. Especially around where i live. so i am figuring out exactly what i want to go back to school for. If i decide to go with my original plan, i need to accept the fact that when i am done i will be $15k in debt. if i tweak that plan a bit, i could save a lot of money. So... we'll see. i am sticking with my plan of enjoying my summer tho.

i have an interview at work for the help desk in information systems on wednesday (at the place i already work in the lab). i dont really know if i want the job, but it pays more and utilizes the fact that i have a degree. ;) I probably dont qualify tho. The only "requirement" was a degree. It was preferred to be in computer science and it was preferred to have some programming and other computer knowledge i dont possess. I know my way around a computer ok, and i know the program we use at work and microsoft office, but thats it. oh well, an interview wont hurt anything. my other option at the time is to go full time, 3rd shift weekends in the lab. (you get paid more for working 3rd and for the weekends, so...)

well, thats all for now. maybe i will be back soon, maybe not. ;) we'll see.

sick sick sick

2007-05-16T20:23:00.000-04:00

so i didnt get around to posting about mother's day because i was busy being sick! Happy belated mothers day to all you moms out there!

First logan had some stomach bug, which i caught. then we were ok for a day and then he came down with some cold and i got sick with something else. I had a runny nose, sore throat and severe nausea. It sucked. I had already called out of work on friday because of the stomach bug, and then monday had to go home early because of the mystery illness. Tuesday morning went ok, and when i came back to work for my cpr class, i ended up spending 20 minutes puking in the restrooms instead. So i had my sister go find my CPR instructor and explain what was going on, and on my way back to the lab to grab my things, we ran into my boss. I told her what had happened and called out for today. And then i went straight to the doctors.

They asked me the same thing my mom did: Are you pregnant? (i sure as hell hope not! is my usual response) They ran a CBC and a preg test. Both were negative. No infection, no baby. Good so far. The doc thinks my sinuses are just so full (prob. allergies) and it's just running into my tummy making me feel sick. So he told me to get some of the good sudafed, from behind the pharmacy counter, and gave me a prescription for phenergen (i think thats spelled right). It can double as a sleep aid he told me. Well, it works great. I stopped feeling sick soon after i took it and slept awesome! Today i feel much much better. I hate that i had to miss so much work tho.

For one, i dont like losing the hours, i also just dont like calling out. i just dont like to do it, plus i know what a strain it puts on everyone else. oh well. i guess i needed it. And tomorrow is a short shift. My paycheck will suck!! oh well.

Hopefully, logan will be sleeping soon and i can go to bed. Thats the plan, man.

Oh, and my daycare closed today. They told us this past friday they would be closing today. Kind of short notice. Suckage. So the hunt is on for a new facility. Joy.

what to do with myself now...

2007-05-10T17:32:00.000-04:00

It's very different these days not having school anymore. it's nice not having to race all over always feeling like i am running late and not having any time for anything. I went ahead and downloaded a free online version of the GRE...and it does not look fun. there are 2 writing parts and then there is a math section and a language section. i skipped the writing and checked out the other 2 sections...i did not do good. The math part was frustrating because everything looked familiar, but i couldnt always remember all the way how to actually figure the problems out. It has just been too long since i took a math class. i went all the way to calculus, but that was 5 or 6 years ago and if you dont use it, you lose it. So i definitely need to brush up on some math. I am not really sure how to study for the language part. I remember on other standardized tests they ask you for definitions of words, and half the time they are just not common words. this test had a similar section, so ... i dunno. this test could suck. and then i have to think about how i will pay for graduate school. It will cost about $15000. Thats a whole shit-load of money. and from what i understand, there arent any grants for that like there are for undergraduate studies. I am half tempted to just go back for a 2nd degree. (in something related, but more useful). I dunno, i need to do more research. if i really want to be a guidance counselor then I HAVE to get my masters, so that would not really be a good plan for me.

Anyway, my graduation was good (actually it was boring, but it was still cool!) and Kathleen's Wedding was AWESOME! we had so much fun. I really think i had the most fun there that i ever had at a party. right now we are watching devin until tomorrow while kathleen is on her honeymoon. Things are going well except for the fact they are both still getting over a stomach bug. (yuck) anyway, i have to go cook dinner now.

-k-

day care woes

2007-05-03T14:19:00.000-04:00

so i have to find logan a new daycare. and that sucks because he really likes his teacher at the one he is going to now. She is this 70yr old woman, who is super nice and pretty funny too. (i dont know how she chases around 2-3 yr old all day long). I like her alot too, but something apparently happened at the day care and CCA is pulling their funding from them. CCA is the child care association and qualified applicants get assistance with daycare. So I pay $21 month, but only to CCA approved places. I have until the end of the month to find a new place. I wonder how much it will bother logan. He actually asks us if he can go to school now. "Go school?" he says as he pulls you to the door. he loves it there. He gets impatient with his teacher when she is trying to get everyone set up so they can do their lesson, and asks when school is going to start... i love it. i know he has fun there, and i am pretty sure i could find another day care w/people he will like, but it still sucks.

anyway. so thats what i will be doing next week after work i guess.

along with making an appointment to see someone in the graduate program and signing up for the GRE. fun stuff.

well, thats all for now. i am going to try and convince logan to take a nap so i can too.

--k--

all done!

2007-05-02T18:00:00.000-04:00

Well, i took my last exam on monday! it feels so good to be done with it all. My graduation is friday and I cant wait!! Then we have my sister's wedding on Saturday. It's a big week here.

Now i really have to get on the ball about getting things together if i want to go to grad school. I have a lot of questions about the program i want to go into, so i need to go speak with the person in charge of it all. I plan to make an appointment to do that sometime soon, plus i still need to take the GRE. that sounds fun. (**yuck**) oh well.

Today after i got out of work, i had a little while until i could pick logan up from daycare (they dont like us to come during nap time, because logan will wake up all the other kids. he doesnt nap, but he is at least quiet until we show up) So i sat down on the couch to kill some time and promptly fell asleep! I suddenly woke up at about 245 and raced off to get him. (naptime is over around 2, 2:15) what a bad mommy i am! His teacher didnt care at all, he was playing with the other kids. She told me that i must've needed my rest. I still felt bad, even tho i dont think my kid even noticed. oh well.

well, i am off to play outside with the boy now. He just finished watching his sesame street sing-a-long dvd. It's so cute, he sings along to all the songs now...his favorites are twinkle twinkle little star and baa-baa black sheep. Its so adorable.

have a good week! I will try to get pictures from this weekend up on here as soon as i can.

kids & sleep

2007-04-23T21:15:00.000-04:00

i am trying to study for my exam tomorrow in spanish. Logan keeps getting up. i swear the kid has opened his door at least every 10 minutes, if not sooner since 8. he was unbelievably cranky when i put him down and seemed very tired. And now he is all sorts of pleasant. I would just yell at him or whatever, but he keeps asking to go potty. which when we get there, he wont actually go. Since we are in the middle of potty training, i dont want to discourage him from asking to go, but i know he is manipulating me and just saying it so he can get up.

he did the same thing last night, and i eventually stopped letting him try and a few hours after he finally fell asleep, he peed so much he wet the whole bed and came running into my room at 3 am (i was up for work already so at least he didnt wake me) and didnt go back to sleep until after i left for work at 4am. I had to wake my parents to deal with him b/c he was getting into everything. All last week he went to bed great. no fuss, no getting up. (well, not much, once or twice a few nights, but not like this) Why does he have to be so one way or the other?

So basically that leaves my studying being interrupted every 10 minutes. And i could just quit and go to bed, but thats what i did last night and i still had to get up over and over. I have to be at work at 4 am tomorrow. and then i have a spanish exam i am pretty much unprepared for. and i am tired.

**sigh**

i am just frazzled. i cant wait til this school crap is all over. on a good note, i picked up my cap & gown today. that was cool. it makes it feel more official.

Of course, just because i am not in school doesnt mean i will be a whole lot less tired. i still have to get up early for work and if logan is staying up too late, then i will still be tired. we are gonna try waking him up early for a few days and see if that doesnt help. hopefully it will fix this problem. it's probably a phase or some crap and i just have to wait it out, but it sucks. there, i said it and i 'm glad. ;)

anyway, he has been quiet for a little bit now, maybe he is down for the night and i can get some rest. wouldnt that be nice? good nite.

exam week is here

2007-04-22T12:14:00.000-04:00

this week is exam week. and that is really awesome and it really sucks. It's awesome because it means i am actually finishing school. With a degree. But it sucks because, well, exams suck. all the studying...argh. and i am finding myself with very little motivation to get it done. you would think i would have been studying all week long to ensure i get the highest grades possible, but at this point i really just dont care anymore, i just want to pass with any grade and get the heck out. ;)

and the scariest exam? spanish. i have a hard time remembering all the vocab from way back in the first part of the semester. i am sure i will pass, but i am not looking forward to it.

anyway...i found out that at work i get a $.75 raise just for getting my degree. (since my job doesnt require one) pretty cool i think.

now i just have to figure out what i am going to do with my degree. i want to go to graduate school and get my masters and become a guidance counselor, but it would be nice to use my degree in the meantime. i have a few leads, so i will keep you posted. but really- what does someone do with a degree in Liberal Studies? my focus was on psychology & graphic arts and my minor is in mass communication. hmm. we'll see how it goes.

well, back to the books.

happy birthday to me :)

2007-04-16T13:29:00.000-04:00

Today is my birthday. I am now 27 years old. whoo-ee. ;)

My parents flew to Vegas this morning and will be gone for the week, so i took the week off of work since i have no sitter and decided that i could skip my class this afternoon since it is my birthday. That's my present to myself. And to spend the day with Logan. The whole day. It has been a long time since i had an entire day with him. Right now he is watching blue's clues and singing along with whatever it is they are singing. it's so cute.

Yesterday he did something that was not cute. not cute at all. He fell down the stairs. (before anyone freaks out-he's ok) He has been going up and down the stairs since before we moved in here with no problems. And i was right there. and i couldnt stop him. i reached for him as i saw him trip and only my fingertips touched the edge of his shirt and down he tumbled. i was screaming "oh my god" the entire way trying to catch up to him and my heart was exploding in my chest. it was the worst feeling in the entire world. luckily he started to catch himself, which turned his head over ass tumbling into a sideways roll down the stairs, and as soon as he hit the bottom, i scooped him up and he cried only a little, and was fine. he barely wanted to sit still to let me make sure he was fine, but he was. i made him give me a big hug and then let him go play. My heart didnt stop for a long time tho. all that adrenaline and nothing to do with it...I hate that shaky queasy feeling. i hate it, and i hate the images that go thru my head of what could have been. If i never ever have to see anything remotely close to that sight again, that would be fine by me. that sucked. My mom heard me scream and came out of her bedroom to see the very end of it all and then she was all shaky like me too. it reminded her too much of when my little sister fell down the stairs when she was 9months old. only it was down the cellar stairs which were wooden with a cement ground and anna was not as lucky as logan. she did hurt herself and my mom had to go to the emergency room with her... so my mom was stressing pretty bad when she thought about what could have happened.

anyway, like i said, Logan is fine. he was fine immediately following the incident. I noticed this morning he was a little more careful on his way down the stairs, so that's a good thing.

ANyway, i have to go prepare some snacks. I am having my sisters and a friend over for appetizers and wine/beer. ;) And i have brownies and icecream.

Have a good day!!!

happy easter!

2007-04-08T21:17:00.000-04:00

hey there folks. Happy Easter everyone. Hope you had a good one. we had a pretty decent one here. there was some drama with the boyfriend's family about me coming to dinner. it basically boils down to the fact that they are not the kind of people I thought they were. no worries tho - we got thru the day and came to some interesting conclusions about the way we will deal with them in the future.

logan and devin had fun on their easter egg hunt and ate way too much chocolate and jellybeans today. i am currently sitting in front of a fire that i started with my mom out in my back yard. it's nice and relaxing too. and i can use my computer. ;)

well school is coming to a close soon. and i have so much work to do it's just not funny. i cannot, lemme repeat, cannot, wait for this to be done.

anyway, i am going now so, have a great rest of the week. ;)

too busy

2007-03-27T21:16:00.000-04:00

i am so ready to be done with school. only 5 more weeks. and then i will be a college graduate. whoo-ee.

I still havent gotten the pictures from our vacation from my sister, but as soon as i do, i will put them up along with a post about our trip. Which, by the way, was alot of fun, even if it was too cold/windy to use the boat & jet ski.

All i do is study, go to school, go to work. the remainder of my time is spent being mom. Which is rewarding, but it's hard when there you are on your own. by the time i get home, my mom is done. i dont blame her, she's been watching my kid all day and she needs time for herself. but what sucks is that i dont get that time to myself. joe has to work late all the time and even if it's not too late, by the time he gets back to this side of town, logan has already gone to bed. so now i might get a sunday here and there to my self, but not every week. and then i have to try to cram everything i didnt get to thru-out the week into that one day. it sucks and i never get to everything.

i cannot wait to graduate.

i keep repeating that in my head. over and over. it's all that keeps me going sometimes. ;)

well, thats all the update i have time for today. another thing- once school is over, i will be able to blog again. yae.

good nite. wish me luck for my test tomorrow (in the class i dont really get, and that i am not as prepared as i would like. ugh)

happy st. patty's day!

2007-03-17T22:26:00.001-04:00

hello from vacation! I am here in Panama City beach and it is spring break, but it's not hot!! arghh.

I am in the hotel for the night. We got 2 rooms for a few nights in case it got cold (which it is supposed to be tonight) for the kids and for all of us to shower and stuff and for internet so my sisters and I could do homework. ;) they have actually done some, i havent ;)

anyway. we havent been able to go out on the boat or the jetski b/c the water has been too rough, it has been unbelievable windy! and it cooled off alot today and is supposed to be cooler tomorrow. but it is still sunny and everyone is having fun.

Camping as a single parent is hard. dont get me wrong, my family is helping me, but it is still not the same as having your partner around to really share the load with. logan is having a blast. he would not take a nap today, altho you could tell he wanted to. So tonight when i put him in bed at the hotel, he rolled over and instantly went to bed! so cute. the boys are having so much fun. when i get home and can upload some photos to my laptop, i will post a few. there are a cute ones of both the boys w/their grumpa. ;)

anyway, just checking in. i am going to soak in the tub and go to bed. have a good one!

spring break is almost here

2007-03-07T20:58:00.000-05:00

it's so close, i can almost taste it. i am so ready for a break. we are going camping right near panama city for a week starting next wednesday. woohoo!! and i will get paid for my time off because i actually get paid time off, and we just had a cash in, so i cashed in 40 hours so i will have cash to take with me too!!

i CANNOT wait to graduate. this school/work/mom/?life? thing is way too much. this semester is so hard. i have no time. none. i should totally be in bed right now, but i felt the need to actually check my email for once. ;)

and say hello to my, like 2, readers. ;) hi. i am still here. i'm tired, and cranky and stressed, but i am here.

well, now i am going to bed.

a good end to a nice weekend

2007-02-25T19:17:00.000-05:00

I had a good day today. I didn't have to work, Logan was at his daddy's, and I finished all my homework and helped my mom finish the Bulletin for the Legion. And now, dinner (London Broil) is being cooked and Joe and Logan are on their way over, and that will be a nice way to finish out the weekend.

Over the last week, we have converted Opa's into the kid's playroom. Opa's was basically our father-in-law quarters. (Even tho Opa passed a few years ago, we still call it Opa's. Just habit, i suppose.) It used to be our garage. We left enough garage for one car and turned the rest into a little studio apartment that comes right out of our kitchen. So the bathroom is inside, but out there is air conditioning, cable hookups and a full kitchen. Yesterday, my parents finished putting sheetrock up in the garage part and while they were at it, Logan and I played and played. I left the door open and we mostly played outside for almost the whole day. I think we went out for the first time around 10 and he was really good about staying in the areas of the yard I wanted to stay in. (we have a big yard so...) We played with our trucks on the side in the driveway, we went in back and played in the sand box and went exploring in the very back part of the yard where it is still a little overgrown. there is also an old broken canoe back there (the end of it is missing, but its mostly in one peice, with the seats) and we climbed and jumped all over it, and according to him "my boat"...then we went to the other side of the yard and played on the swing for a long time. It is sort of like a tire swing, except we have a board of wood in place of a tire. that was super fun. After a while, we made it to the front yard and looked at the pond for a long time. We played on the front porch in all the rocking chairs and with all the wind chimes (most of which he can now reach). We eventually made it back to the driveway where he kept playing with his trucks, in my car while I vacuumed it out...or with the ball and the dog. It was a good time.

A little after 5 we came in and i tried getting him to eat a little something, but he wasnt hungry. Instead he fussed and whined and I kept asking him what was wrong. Around 545, he came up to me and yelled "NITE NITE!!!!" So i set him up on the couch w/a blankie and he was out in 10 minutes. He woke around 7 in a wonderful mood, we ate dinner and then him and Joe went to joe's for the night. He was a peach the rest of the night.

Today, joe and him played alot outside as well, altho he didnt take a nap, and he is not being fussy so, i am going to go a play with him a little while before its bath time.

Have a good week!!

bedtime

2007-02-16T21:44:00.000-05:00

logan seems to be getting worse and worse about bedtime. i should count myself lucky that he sleeps thru the night and always has since he was a newborn, and that up til recently, he pretty much went to bed with minimal fuss. But lately (dont ask me how long, i am so tired, it all runs together now) he gets up over and over for up to an hour and a half after i put him down. today, for instance, he played hard at school, according to my mom he played good at home, we went out to dinner with his auntie anna and we played good after that. he didnt take a nap except for 5 minutes in the car on the way to dinner. he looks tired. but he is literally skipping around his room. c'mon already. i have to work at 5 am tomorrow and just need to get to sleep. its been 2 hours now. i need a break. granted, i love seeing my kid, because w/school and work, i dont see him all that much, and i would love to just let him stay up all night and hang out with me, but we both need our sleep and in the long run that would not be the best thing for him, so i try to keep bedtime as stable as possible. he pretty much only stays the night as his daddy's once a week now, (if that) so i cant blame him for messing the schedule up, so i just dont know what's up with it all.

sorry if this makes no sense, i am really really tired.

I did get to watch last night's grey's anatomy tho. (altho i had to pause it every 5 minutes to put someone back in bed). what an intense episode. i dont know if you watch it, but you should. i have been a fan since day one. i am almost bummed i watched it..with episodes like that it is more fun to save them for all at once that way you dont have to wait a week to see what the hell is happening. arggh. i still have heroes to watch from monday and lost too. maybe if i am lucky i will get to see those this weekend. we'll see.

well, logan has been quiet now for 15 minutes. hopefully he finally passed out. i am so ready to do the same.

waiting for sleep

2007-02-15T20:41:00.000-05:00

i am so tired. but it seems that logan is not. bummer for me. ;(

Speaking of logan, he is doing wonderfully with potty training. Every night at bathtime, he pees on the potty for me. And during the day, sometimes he goes at daycare, sometimes for my mom. Tonight, one of the many times he opened his door after i put him down for the night, he said he had to pee, so i directed him to the bathroom and he actually went!! (he has a habit of saying he has to go just so he can flush some toilet paper...) And then a little while later i went to check on all the noises coming out of his room and he came running out of his closet naked from the waist down. Not only had he dumped all the toys out in his closet, but he had taken his pants and diaper off and peed on the floor in his closet. So we got dressed again and he has been up a few more times, but still. I can't believe he peed so much in one evening! And 2 out 3 were on the potty. Yae! the little things in life really excite me these days.

Besides that, nothing is going on in my life besides what i have already mentioned: school, work, more school and more work. and not enough sleep.

why arent i in bed yet?

2007-02-12T21:26:00.000-05:00

it has somehow become 924 pm and i am awake. arg. And i still need to shower. Of course, logan didnt go right to sleep when i put him down at 8, and the last time he got up was 840 and i was just killing a few minutes until i knew he was asleep so i could jump in the shower and now so much more time has gone by than i meant! i was actually finally going a reading a few of your blogs. I miss them so much. I cant wait until i have time again to really get back into them. And this might sound sort of cheesy, but I also miss the little bit of traffic i used to get here. I never had a lot, but now i have like 3 or 4 people who stop by. that's pretty lame. of course i went with no readers for a long time when i first got started, so i suppose i shouldnt complain. If i actually had time and something to post about, things would be different.

oh well.

So, remember i had those quizes/tests last week? Well so far i have gotten the grades for 2 of them and i did really good!! i got a 90 on one quiz and a 93 on my test. i still have one grade to get and one more quiz this week...yae! last week sucked. i was sick, tired and stressed the hell out over all the school work i had looming over me. why is that all your classes schedule tests and assignments to be due the same week? I mean really, do they have staff meetings and say "hey, i have a huge test coming up in two weeks, who else wants to schedule the mother of all tests?" "oh me!! that'll really mess the kids up!!"...ya, i know..i am really lame. cant help it- i was born this way- take it up with my parents. It's their fault. And my kid will be lame too. so there. i said it and i'm glad.

Anywho...

i am off to get cleaned up and get to bed.

oh one last thing! i let my sister and her friend pierce my ear lobe. (the top part). Me. The person who was petrified of piercings (even of the ear). maybe it was the few beers and the glass of wine that convinced me to let them have a go at it, but ya know what? it really wasnt that bad. the piercings i have in the lower lobes that were done with a gun hurt worse. a straight, hollow needle really is the way to go. i will take a picture this week and show it off. ;)

ok, really this time: Good nite!

what a week

2007-02-10T17:32:00.000-05:00

this has been the longest week ever. I had 3 quizzes this week and still another one next week. So that's one for every class i have. yuckers. So between working all week i was supposed to find some time to study...which you can probably guess was nearly impossible. But i still think that I did pretty decent on everything.

I have to work tomorrow, which is good for getting the hours, but sucks because that means i lose my sunday again. and then next week i work both saturday and sunday. eww. but my paycheck will be nice. ;)

I am just so unbelievably tired these days. no matter how hard i try, i just cant get to bed any earlier. I am usually in bed by about 9pm the latest, altho i had some later nights because of studying, but even if i am in bed by 9, getting up at 3 only gives me about 6 hours of sleep. And i am one of those people who really needs 8 hours.

but this is my last semester so it isnt forever..and school is going pretty good and so is work, so life isnt too bad. Logan is doing good, we are potty training and it's going great! He pees in the potty every night at bathtime and some other times throughout the day. He is talking up a storm lately as well. for someone that didnt talk at all for so long, he is certainly making up for it now.

well, we are going to pick up some chinese food so ... have a good week!

another week gone by

2007-02-02T17:26:00.000-05:00

well, it is finally friday and i am so tired. Logan is coughing again and i have a sore throat today, so i am praying that we are not getting sick again. But when it goes from 80 degrees to 40 degrees and back up to almost 80 in about a week, what should i expect?

Thank you so much to those of you who left the encouraging comments on my last post! i appreciate the support!

It seems i can only make it to this thing to post about once a week lately, and i wish it could be more. by the time i sit down, i cant think of anything to actually write about, or i have so much i want to say all at once, it just comes out as this big mess. All week long i think of things i would like to write about here and if i had the time to do a few small posts a week, they would probably be enjoyable things to read, instead of the jumbled messes i have been posting lately. Sorry. I also hate that i barely have time to get out there and check out all of your lovely blogs. There are so many that i love to read that i have been away from for so long now...

Being busy really sucks. it makes the time go by fast, but it doesnt leave a lot of time for fun or sleep. ;) this is the last semester...i just keep telling my self that...

well, logan is having a "moment" because Gram & I told him he wasnt allowed to keep throwing our jackets over the railing...so i must attend to him.

Have a good weekend.

sigh

2007-01-27T20:30:00.000-05:00

How is everyone doing? (and by everyone i mean the 1 or 2 people left who read my blog?)

We are finally ok again here. Today was the 1st day Logan has been feeling good in a few days. The 1st day, he just seemed a bit down and out, but the 2nd day, he started running a fever and literally whimpered and laid down the whole day. He didnt want to get up to do anything. He was crying for most of the morning, but by the afternoon, he was just laying there. All pathetic and sad. It was heartbreaking. Its so hard to see your kid feeling so crappy and not be able to anything but hold him. which was all he wanted. he was held by everyone. it was like we were taking shifts.

The next day wasnt much better, but he would at least get up a little and want to play for a bit. Still had a mild fever. But then the next morning (friday) when i went to check on him before i left for work, i discovered he had puked all over himself and his bed. So i put a blanket down on the floor so i could change his sheets and stuff and he started puking again. The kid's a trooper tho, it doesnt seem to phase him when he throws up; he just does it and moves on with his life. So anyway, my mom heard the commotion and decided she couldnt handle a puking grandson and told me to call out of work (for the first time.) ;( Which was fine, they got the shift covered and things were ok. SO logan and i slept in and that was nice and even tho he wasnt at 100%, he was definitely getting better. no more puke. Today, he seemed fine. Wanted to play alot, like he was making up for lost time or something. ANd then his daddy came and got him and now its verrry quiet here.

School is going well, altho it is taking up so much of my time. I am so busy i cant stand it. I should be doing homework right now, but i just have to take some personal time at some point! I cant believe this could really be my last semester. I have an appointment with an adviser to fill out my "intent to graduate" form on Monday. they were supposed to be turned in by december, but at the time i wasnt sure i would get all the classes i needed, so i didnt turn one in, but so far it looks like they will take mine late. we will see this week. I am also going to ask a bunch of questions about grad school. Like how i want to go, but i really need some more general information on the whole process. like whats all this about the GRE and what kind of letters do i need and all this crap. and what's involved in graduate level course, blah blah blah. i never really seriously considered graduate school until the last few months, so i never bothered to find any of this out earlier. My GPA should be good enough, so i am not worried about that.

Work is still going great, but we are going to soon be experiencing some changes. Our immediate supervisor is no longer going to be our supervisor so that means someone else will be. Which could be good, but it could suck depending on who goes for the position. We will just have to wait and see. Being so new, it shouldnt make any difference to me because i am not as set in my ways should any major changes happen, but still...There are definitely some people in the lab i would rather not have as a boss and i can tell that after just a few months there.

Well, thats enough. I probably wont be back for a week or so...Be good!

hola...

2007-01-18T18:25:00.000-05:00

hey there. i really miss being able to post more often. But with school & work, it is just so hard to find time to write...

Things are going good. We are all falling into our schedules. Logan is adjusting wonderfully to day care. he goes about 3 days a week for 3-4 hours. He eats his whole lunch there, tries the potty, and even takes a nap. He didnt at first, but I guess after seeing the other kids do it all, he decided to give it a shot. Plus he seems to really like the ladies working there.

School is going good so far, i am on top of all my work so far and my teachers are pretty likeable. It is always harder when the teacher is someone with a personality you dont care for. I always have at least one teacher who is kind of different. Last semester i had a laid back-psychologist type and this semester, my art of cinema teacher is a hippie-ish film guy from San Francisco who graduated from UCLA way back when. He's a trip!

My tattoo is healing pretty good, i really am happy i got it, and Saur- actually this particular tattoo didnt hurt much. I wont lie, tattoos do hurt. But it really depends on where you get it, and how big it is. they dont hurt so much you cant take it. Some people say their hips hurt the most, but the i have on my hips actually hurt the least. My foot hurt the most. The stars nearest my "girly" area hurt, but the rest of them didnt hurt too much. And the whole thing only took about 45 minutes. So, really, by the time i was getting uncomfortable, it was over. I love my tattoos (i have 4 now, not counting the one that is covered by another one). they are addictive too. Now, i dont do peircings tho. i was scared to get my ears pierced, (altho i have 3 holes in each ear) and thought that hurt alot, so i wont get anything else. gives me the heebie jeebies thinking about it.

Anyway, i have to get dinner going for the kiddo and me, so nite nite!!

here are my other tattoos..sorry not the greatest quality pics.

the first week is over...

2007-01-13T20:42:00.000-05:00

...finally.

It was a long week. I have a very full schedule. I know i have mentioned this before, but a year ago when i used to bitch that i was "soo tired" and "soo busy", i had no idea what the true meanings of those phrases really were. But i am pretty sure i have a good understanding of them now. ;) I also get so to see logan so much less than i am used to. And i thought i saw too little of him last semester. This semester will be worse. And i already have a decent amount of homework to get started on. Crazy. All my teachers seem nice and overall pretty decent, and a little demanding as far as work goes. Which sucks only because i really have to stay on top of things, but is overall a good thing b/c that makes sure i really know it and stay on top of the subject matter.

Today i went to a tattoo convention. The "Marked For Life - Female Tattoo Artist Expo". I went with my sister Anna (Kathleen was a super sister and babysit all day for me), and two girls we work with. It was pretty cool. And kind of humorous- i had the choice of any tattoo artist, from all over, and i chose the one from my town. When i scheduled my appointment, i didnt realize she was from here, so it was kind of funny. At least if i need any touch ups, she is local, so thats good. I got some pretty starts on my hip. (the other hip has a small fairy on it. I suppose i should take some pictures of all my tattoos..i only have pics of the last 2) Anyway, in case anyone is interested, here is my new tat:

it actually goes a little bit lower,
but i ain't showing all that on the internet, sorry. ;)

and another view, just cuz.

Its a simple design. And its my first non-fairy tattoo. ;) Joe thinks it's sexy, so that's good. ;) You can tell me what you think too, if you like. hint hint

Well, anyway. I should go off and do some homework, but i really dont think i want to (or will). i will do that tomorrow while logan is at his dad's. I think tonight i will take over the tv and watch my shows i have recorded, or if my dad wont give up the tv, i will just go finish the book i am reading. (i am reading The Mote in God's Eye by Larry Niven & Jerry Pournelle. Joe recommended that i read The Ringworld series by Niven and since i liked them, he gave me this book to try out. Its actually pretty good. if you are into some sci-fi fantasy style. Besides, i really dont think i will have much longer where i have time to read for fun!) So anywho- good nite!

i got in!

2007-01-10T21:33:00.000-05:00

Ok, so today, on my way to school, I had my sister Kathleen check one last time if there were any open spanish classes (before i went and yelled at someone) and even tho she had just checked, she humored me and signed in to look. When she pulled up the class schedules, there was one opening in one class for Tue & Thur 9:30-11:20. She signed me up. So i will graduate this term!

But this also means i will out of the house even more during the day. Which is when i am supposed to spend time with my son. Which means he may spend a little more time in daycare than i originally thought, altho my mom is having a much harder time with it than i am. She feels bad and doesnt want him to spend too much time there so she only drops him off for a max of 3 hours usually. WHich is fine, i got the daycare to give her a break, so she can use it however makes her happy. ;)

I am excited this all worked out and that i will graduate at the end of this term if everything goes as planned. But at the same time i am pretty bummed out that i will be seeing so much less of my Logan than i am used to. (and he is used to). It's worth it in the long run, but it still is a bummer. And it's only for one semester. So...

Anyway, i think he finally fell asleep which means i can finally do the same. Thank god because i am so very very tired and have to work tomorrow at 4am, and then i am off to school for class at 930 and then at 130. Yae. I wont be home until 530-ish. argh. Well, nite nite.

i didnt get in

2007-01-09T17:29:00.000-05:00

well, major bummer. I did not get an override into the spanish class that i wanted. she said she emailed whoever she was supposed to and they told her that no more overrides were available. I am going back to the foreign language dept to tell the people that told me to "just show up" that their wonderful plan didnt work and if they dont give me an override i will have to go to their stupid school for another semester.

This is why UCF has so many wonderful other names. Like U Cant Finish and U're Continuously Fucked. (and Under Construction Forever b/c they are always building something new).

Argh.

school has started!

2007-01-09T13:11:00.000-05:00

Well, yesterday was my first day of classes and so far I am pretty happy with my classes.

Turns out I do not have enough time between my classes to make it from campus to my spanish class which turns out to be 30 miles away. When i first registered for the class, it said it was off campus, but it didnt state where. i called the registrar's office and they said it was most likely going to be in the research area which i would have had plenty of time to make in 45 minutes. But it ended up being in downtown orlando so that is too far to make in 45 minutes at 545pm. not gonna happen. i couldnt even get out of the campus in under 15 minutes last night.

So now i need to register for a different spanish2 class. All of them are closed. And have been since the beginning of last semester. (otherwise i would have registered for both classes at one time, but there werent any!) So, I was told to "just show up" at the class i wanted and the instructor would "surely grant" me an override. Well, the class i showed up to had 15 other kids in the same boat as me. So she told all of us to send her an email and detail our situation and she would email us back sometime this afternoon. I already had emailed her last nite and emailed me back this morning telling me to show up for class and see what happens. So i went ahead and emailed her again. and i am just waiting and waiting for her to email me back with a yes or no.

I basically told her the whole thing about how i am a single working mom and i only just now got child care and blah blah blah and hopefully gave her enough of sob story without sounding too pathetic that she will give me one of the like 3 overrides she has available for the 15 of us.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

being sick

2007-01-03T21:34:00.000-05:00

Logan made it thru his first two days of daycare just fine. In fact, he had a lot of fun. So i am over my guilt pretty much. i just hate to leave him, but he knows i come back for him so its ok. He wont be going back the rest of the week tho because he has finally come down with whatever cold my family has been passing around.

It all started with Devin and has made its way to me and logan. my Poor kid woke up with a slightly runny nose, spent 2 hours at daycare and came home and played with gramma and then started to go down hill from there. He got pretty blah and by this evening was miserable. He developed a yucky sounding cough and just wanted to cuddle, but couldnt get comfy and just whined. He sometimes would cough so hard he would gag himself. i felt so bad for him, because i know how much that feeling sucks. So we dosed him with some tylenol (he felt feverish) and some dimetap cough syrup and gave him a bath. He perked up pretty good after that. Bedtime took forever because he was still coughing a little and a bit snotty, but he was feeling better, so he wanted me to stay in bed and talk and read. He was talking up a storm so it was hard to leave. he doesnt always converse so well, so it was fun for a bit. but then i realized i had been in there, in the dark for an hour and i finally had to go. He fell asleep shortly thereafter. If he is anything like today when he wakes up, we will take him to his doctor (which we tried to do tonight, but they wouldnt answer their phones). i just want to be sure he doesnt have any kind of infection.

I am feeling pretty crappy myself. my nose is so clogged up that i cant stand it. the only medicine i have that works is non-drowsy and i am afraid if i take it i will be up all nite and seeing how i have to work at 4am, that wont do. and i should have been in bed forever ago.

my books came today! When i ordered them, i requested used copies, but i didnt actually expect them (i am never so lucky) but when i opened my package up, they were all used and i saved like $75! Yae! i only need one book now, but the bookstore doesnt know which one yet, so that will probably have to wait until school starts. Which is the 8th. I am looking forward to it, because it is my last semester, but i am dreading it too, because of how long my mondays and wednesdays are going to be. And the day before school starts i have to work a long shift in the ER. argh. i was hoping to have that whole day off.

Joe started a new job this week. And this new job;s insurance lets him put "significant other" on the policy, so he offered to pay for me to have insurance. Real insurance. Yae. (unlike the crap i paid for from my school. which is making me pay back all the things they finally paid. because they are claiming that becuase my shoulder was stiff for a while before i sought treatment, that constitutes a preexisting condition. bastards. i wish the fleas of a thousand camels to infest the armpits of everyone affiliated with that damn company. Anyway)...so thats pretty cool.

Alright, this is way too long. And it is way too late. So good nite!

daycare, day 1

2007-01-02T13:27:00.000-05:00

well, we picked up logan around 1230 and he was fine. He apparently had a lot of fun and they did puzzles all morning and he actually ate his lunch and overall they told me he was very good and had lots of fun. So i dont feel so crappy anymore. i think thats just something i couldnt help, because it was the first time i left him with strangers...

But it went well, so we will try it tomorrow.

--

daycare...

2007-01-02T09:35:00.000-05:00

I just got back from dropping Logan off for his first day of daycare.

And i feel crappy for it. ;(

Which i expected i would, but still. I know he will be fine. My mom went with us, since she will be the one usually dropping him off and picking him up, and when we said bye-bye, he didn't cry, but he did reach for us and the look of realization came over him that we were leaving him there made me feel like a rotten mom. I know i'm not, but how do you not feel that way the first time? We are only leaving him there for 3 hours today. We decided to start logan at daycare this week while i am not in school yet to make sure it works for him. And really, it is only going to be for about 4 hours 3 days a week once i do start, to give my mom a break and allow her some kid-free time to either veg or to get things done around the house, or run errands sans-kiddos.

I am actually off all day, so i am going to use this time constructively and do some much over-due cleaning of my room. I am just so tired. i didnt go to bed that early last nite and this morning i woke up at 5 so i could give joe a ride to his new job an hour away. He is getting his work truck today so he needed a ride there, but he will have his truck to get him home this evening. it sucks he is going to be working so far away now. Its really not too bad of a drive in the wee hours of the morning, but when he gets off of work, the traffic in that area sucks big time and that means he will not be able to come over and see his son until around 630 at the earliest. (versus his old job when he would be here by about 430.)

I cannot believe school starts again next week. Monday the 8th is going to suck. I have to work from about 430am til 1230, and then i am straight off to school. My first class starts at 230, and my last class lets out around 830pm. And then its a 40 minute -or so drive home. yuck. But its only for one semester and its also my last one. (well, until i decide to start going for my masters).

well, its time for me to get some work done around here to keep my mind off my kiddo. It gets easier right?

Merry Christmas!

2006-12-25T20:18:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone had a great christmas! We had a wonderful time here, i will post some pics tomorrow of the whole gang!

daycare

2006-12-20T20:27:00.000-05:00

well, i am signing logan up for daycare tomorrow. I got approved for the CCA (child care association) and they have released funding for me, so i went and filled out all the paperwork and turns out i will only have to pay $21 a week. Yae! So tomorrow we are going to enroll. I only looked at a few places, but we are going with the first place i looked at. Logan had so much fun playing there and they have the smallest class size per teacher. And the kicker was the fact that the director/2yr old teacher is super nice. I really liked her. And that is the main thing that makes me more comfortable with this whole thing.

I hate the fact that i am not going to see Logan at all on Monday's & Wednesdays. I will leave for work around 4am and then go straight to school from 230 until 830 and then drive home. So i will be gone for 17 hours. sucksville!

Logan has been talking up a storm lately. I love it. But this week, he has been opening his door and talking to us from his room instead of going to bed. sort of frustrating, because that keeps me up later. but its cute in its own way too.

well, i forgot what else i was going to write about, so i will just try and remember and come back if i do. ;) Nitey nite!

got my grades

2006-12-15T19:26:00.000-05:00

I got my grades today for this semester...And i got all A's!! Woohoo!! I rock. haha.

Anyway, i just had to take a moment and brag. Time to get ready for bed soon because i have to work tomorrow at 5am.

bye-eee.

just thought i would share...

2006-12-14T15:14:00.000-05:00

hey there, hi there, ho there

2006-12-11T21:51:00.000-05:00

hello. wow- i am actually posting twice in one week! It's been a long time since that happened. i have to say, since i havent been blogging as much as i used to, i have realized that i really really miss it. it can be pretty therapeutic and just a nice way to wrap up the day. And i miss checking out everyone else's blogs and commenting on most of them. lately, i havent had time to even read most of them, let alone comment.

Well, this is my first day of christmas break from school. And it feels weird not having to go to school tomorrow. Or work. i am off tomorrow. I can sleep in!! (til 8 at least, when logan gets up) I Instead of working tuesday this week, i am working saturday. In the ER. by myself for a few hours. My boss must either have faith in me or be desperate to fill the shift. She has me working the following sat in the er too, plus 2 times the week after that. argh. It will be interesting. Its not that the er is harder, it is just set up differently. which makes sense, it is the er afterall. And no, its not anything like they show on tv. in fact, at that time of day, it can be rather boring and slow.

well, logan is talking up a storm lately! I love it. i cant get enough of it! He even has a few sentences starting to emerge. He wanted to turn the pages in his book last nite, and he said, "no, me do it" which i thought was soo cute. And he told grandma he loved her. Of course, he hasnt told me that yet. i am only his mother and all. ;) oh well. we talk alot about trucks. And he counts to 20. Altho the numbers 13-18 all sound the same. And he sings his abc's. The letters are pretty out of order and the tune is something different all together, altho he does repeat the same tune each time, i just dont recognize where he learned that tune and not the one i have been singing to him. And he just started with colors too. He points to the christmas lights on the tree and names the colors. Just out of the blue. Did i mention that i just love it?!? Its awesome. And he says hello and goodbye to everything. So cute. well, thats probably enough of that for now.

it's past my bedtime (its 10) so i need to get some zzz's so good nite.

finals are over!!

2006-12-08T22:10:00.000-05:00

Well, finals are over! I am so relieved to be done with this week. Especially today. Today was my spanish exam and i think i passed the test, but it was hard and nothing like any of the assignments or tests we have had all semester. I am pretty sure I got all A's & B's. (mostly A's i think) so it was a good semester. I cannot believe next semester will be my last for my bachelors! Of course, i wont be totally done because i want to get my masters, but i will have a degree! I have decided i want to have my masters by the time i am 30. (i will be 27 when i graduate from UCF, so it's doable)

Anyway. Tomorrow we have a picnic to go to. Someone is retiring from our department and we are having a big party at the park for him. So the whole family is going! The high is only supposed to be in the low 60's so it will be a cool day for sure. I hate how quickly the weather changes. Yesterday it was nice. Jeans and short sleeves. Today i needed long sleeves and a jacket and i was still cold.

oh, next weekend i work in the ER by myself for a few hours. i am a little nervous about that, only because things are a little different over there. It is usually pretty slow that time of day, but still. But they are scheduling me there b/c they think i can handle it. I am still totally loving my new job. Patients tell me good things all the time. Like how they are a hard stick and no one ever gets them on the first try and then i do! or that they didnt even feel it and most are shocked when they find out i am pretty new. One guy yesterday started saying i must have a lot of experience because of the ease with which i found his vein and got his blood. I told him i have only been doing this for 3 months and he was quite surprised. I know i am not the best (yet), but comments like that certainly are reassuring that i am not bad and that with more time i will be really good. Some of these girls could find a vien in a rock. I want to be like them.

i still cant get over how much i like my job. i am so not used to really enjoying my work. I mean, work is work and sometimes can suck just because it's work, but overall, i dont mind getting up early and going to work. I look forward to it even. Anyway...

Oh and Logan is talking up a storm lately! It is so awesome to hear him say things. He is still behind where his age group should be, but he is progressing so fast with it! I love it. I get all excited when he gets really talkative. And he looks at me like i am f-ing retarded when i dont understand some of his gibberish. he even sighed at me the other day because i kept asking him what he was trying to say. Its so great. And now when he knows he's been caught doing something bad, he will try to get out of it by saying in such a cute way "oh hi mommy", or whoever, until you smile at him and say hi back. It worked like the 1st 2 or 3 times because it was new, but we caught on pretty quick. but he still does it every time.

Well, i am unbelievably tired from staying up too late all week studying and getting up early. I am definitely going to bed soon.

So, good nite!

this is hard

2006-12-06T12:40:00.000-05:00

do you have any idea how hard it is to study with a 2 year old? One who totally does not understand the concept of "in a little while" ? Since i took most of my notes on this computer, i am studying on the computer, and typing out my study guides and he is trying constantly to crawl in my lap to play too. (we watch Noggin videos sometimes on here) It is quite a challenge to only get to work for a few minutes at a time. My train of thought is constantly being interrupted and by the time i figure out what i was doing before, i am interrupted again. **sigh**

i guess i am just saying that it would have been nice to have some alone time this week to study. I had logan most of this past weekend too, so I couldnt do much then either. Oh well. I have a sort-of exam tonite which will be a piece of cake), one tomorrow that we are allowed to use our notes for (which i am trying to organize according to the study guide now) and my spanish exam friday. That is the one i am most freaking out about. I want to get ready now for thursday nite's exam so i can spend the rest of today and tomorrow cramming for spanish on friday. NO MORE SATURDAY CLASSES!!! yae! I will never ever take a sat. class again. Unless it is the only day i go or something. Going every day plus saturdays was a real drag.

well, it is time for me to get back to work. ttfn

up past my bedtime

2006-12-01T22:37:00.000-05:00

its funny how things change.

A year ago, i was posting on a pretty regular basis about how i couldn't sleep at nite. (something i complained about all my life.) Now, its 1041, and i am so sleepy, i am practically delirious. i guess thats what being at work between 4 & 5 am will do to you after a while.

You know, it actually took about a month or so of working those hours before my body's schedule finally started to change. At first, i would still easily stay up late and not feel tired, or have trouble getting to sleep, even tho i was waking up waaaay early. But then, suddenly, i began to get tired verrry early. Thats when we cracked down on Logan's sleep schedule. I made sure that Everyone who was to be taking care of him at bedtime knew the routine and made sure they followed it. I incorporated a few more things that really helped logan to know it was bedtime and began to make absolutely sure he got some sort of outside time so that he would be nice and tired. We also cut out the naps (that he wasnt really taking anyway). All of this together, and now he is out cold 5 minutes after we put him down usually. And bedtime is 8. So i can be in bed myself by 830. Its pretty damn cool.

So now, here i am, friday nite. I already went and had a beer with anna and a girl we work with and i have come home, finished my homework and am dead tired. I really should get to bed. I have to get up early tomorrow so i can do the review for the quiz we are having in spanish. Then i get to spend tomorrow finishing my spanish homework that is due online by sunday, and then preparing for all my exams. which, btw, i am definitely getting stressed about. I have a lot of material to review. Yuck! Well, i am going to check out a few of your pages and then i am hitting the hay!

have a great weekend.

oh..and "rabbit, rabbit".

2006-11-30T16:43:00.000-05:00

This is the paper elephant i was talking about in my last post.
its cute. He now lives on my desk.

"Big Truck"...its all Logan talks about these days. And it's
pretty much all he will let (make) us draw for him too.

Christmas has begun in our house.
We have alot of stockings!

This is the christmas village that we have painted over the years.
We have more houses than we can fit now.

And this is one of my christmas presents to myself.
Now all i need is a sexy dress to wear them with.

well, alls i gots is pics for you today. ;)

school is almost over

2006-11-30T10:28:00.000-05:00

I cannot believe how fast this semester has gone by. Next week is finals week. I am only a little stressed about it, altho i think i should be more worried. I am sure they will not be easy tests, except for my Counseling and Interviewing Class, that will definitely be easy since it will be basically a class participation exercise. But this media class, juvenile delinquency and spanish will be a little tough.

As i was walking to class today, i noticed that someone had left a pile of papers on the ground outside the classroom door. I actually stopped to pick it up and throw it away, when i noticed what the papers were. They had been folded into little origami elephants. Like a whole family of them. 2 big ones and a bunch of little ones. I thought they were cute, so i left them there. If they are still there when i leave, i think i will take one home with me. I wish i could do that! That would be something fun to do when i was bored in class. ;)

I am no longer on probation at work! Woo-hoo. They gave me my evaluation yesterday and I got to go to human resources today and trade in my yellow badge holder for a clear one! (yellow means "i'm new!" it's their own on-the-sly way to let fellow employees know your new, but without alerting all the patients that you are b/c half the time people dont want newbies getting broken in on them, so if they dont know, you can go for it!) I am so excited that i am "official", not that i had any doubts, but its nice for it to be on paper! well, the teacher should be walking in any minute, so i am going to wrap this up.

--k--

thanksgiving photos

2006-11-25T15:11:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a safe and fun turkey day. we did over here! It was probably one of the calmest holidays i think my family has ever spent together. The day just flowed really smoothly. Joe took logan to his grandparents for lunch while i stayed home and helped my mom, and then they came back in time to eat with us. During dinner, both Logan and Devin napped so we were all able to really relax and pig out. Anna and Bryan spent the day at their own respective parents' houses and that worked out good for them and our buddy steve came and visited for the evening. Good times all around. Enjoy the pics.

me and anna

Joe in his usual pose

steve being a goof for the camera

Kathleen and the boys

thanks mom for the grub, it was awesome!

not around

2006-11-22T22:41:00.000-05:00

I know i havent been around as much lately, i am just so busy. I really miss being able to write as much as i did before. Not that anything i wrote here was absolutely astounding or anything, but i did used to get more traffic...so that meant more comments and comments are always fun! Oh well. I really dont know how i could go about changing my time to allow me more here, so i will just do my best to show up when i can. I barely have time to go read my fav. blogs anymore, and that is sad too b/c some of you guys are awesome. ;)

School is going good, especially because it is almost over. My last exam this semester will be fri. dec the 8th. And then i am off til Jan. And that should be my last semester. Woo-hoo. And then i can try to figure out how i am going to go to grad school so i can get a degree i can actually use. ;)

Work is going great. I am out on my own now. i have also gotten a few young kids under my belt. Many times for young kids, you can do a heel stick or a finger stick, but sometimes you actually have to draw their blood from their arm (or hand) and that scares the crap outta me. But I have so far drawn on an 8 yr old, a 2-yr old and a 9-month old. First try. I dont usually get nervous with this, even my first day, until AFTER i stick a patient, but with these kids, i am sweating bullets. I really really dont want to miss. And so far i havent, i know it will happen, but at least my first few went well, so i have some confidence. Now i just have to get better at PKU's. (they are hard - there's all this technique that goes along with it and i just suck at them). Anyway, i still love it and i feel like i belong there already. Any other time i have ever started out somewhere, it usually takes alot longer to feel like i belong, but not here. and it is most likely due to the fact that my sister worked there already, but that is ok by me. She's my "in". ;)

On another note: Logan has been great with bedtime. Like asleep with in minutes of me turning out his light at 8. It is super duper awesome. I think we are on 7 or 8 days straight of him going right to bed. And the last time he didnt, he wasnt up that much longer, maybe a half hour or so and then he passed out.

He has mastered climbing his gates. They are really only a suggestion at this point for him to stay in whatever room they are blocking him into. Or to keep Devin in. (but he is fast learning from his big cousin how to escape). We found out that logan can easily scale the wall this past saturday morning. I had left for school with kathleen and Joe had stayed the night b/c my parents were out of town (and this is a big house, in the woods and it's scary.) I left at 8am and both joe and logan were asleep and the gate in his doorway was up. Around 930, Joe awoke to Logan tapping him on the face. since then, logan just climbs up and hops out whenever he pleases. So tonight, i didnt put it up at all. And he never tried to leave his room. Awesome.

And he's been eating a little better. Not great, but a little better than normal. Maybe he will actually begin to like the same food we do again. Thats probably asking too much, but i can hope. His speaking is coming along too. No sentences or anything yet, but whole lots of words. New ones everyday. Which makes me sooo happy.

Well, this is way too long. if you actually stuck around and read the whole thing, i am sorry. But thanks!! you're the best!

A mostly good day

2006-11-12T11:58:00.000-05:00

Yesterday i had a mostly great day.

To start off with- there was no school thanks to Veteran's Day! Yae- no spanish!

So..
First i went out for breakfast with my parents and made a pig of myself (as usual) by eating twice as much as my parents put together...yummy blueberry pancakes..it was good.

Then I went and had an hour massage and it was the best. I would have to say getting a really good massage can be almost better than sex. Really. I felt great when i left. So i called Anna and met her and our friend Stacie for beer and poppers at the Pub. Which was loads of fun. Then I went and got my hair cut. I donated 10 inches to Locks-of-Love and got me a new do. I am still getting used to it, but here's a pic.

After that, we went for pizza and more beer. Then i went home and took a short nap before babysitting for Devin so his parents could go to a wedding.

The day would have been all the way great if it had not been for the fight i got into with with my dad at the end of the night. And devin wrecked my back rub by making me hold him for half the night. Arrgghh...

Oh well. I had a fun day and really dig my new hair. Anna and Stacie tried super hard to convince me to cut it even shorter but i wanted to keep it long. I obviously compromised and cut it short, but you should have seen how short they wanted me to cut it. The only reason i didnt is because the cut they liked would have taken too much styling time. I really dont take the time to really do my hair. i brush it and go. This style requires a quick barrette and a spritz of hairspray, so it isnt too bad.

Well, Joe and Logan should be here soon so we can watch football together.

Oh and here's a shot of Logan Actually Eating. A hamburger. Well, actually its buffalo meat that we made burgers out of. And they were awesome. i totally recommend it. We didnt season it at all, and they are pretty lean, and they were super tasty!

things on his head

2006-11-09T11:02:00.000-05:00

I love it when logan decides he is going to wear a hat. And it's even better when it's not really a hat. I got bored waiting for my teacher to get class started, so i just pulled all these photos together into a little collage. It isnt the greatest, but it will get the point across.

Last nite, logan was put in his room because he wouldnt sit and be good for family dinner and when I went to let him come back down when we were done, he was passed out in the middle of the floor in his room (that was around 630pm). I tried to wake him up, but as usual, he was out cold. So i left him there, & put a blanket over him. He woke up an hour later freaking out, so i went up there and calmed him down and he actually went back to sleep and slept thru the nite! Granted, he was awake when i got up at 3am, but he was being pleasant and got right back into bed, but he apparently he was still awake for about an hour, but he eventually fell back asleep and slept until 9am. It was pretty cool. I was able to fall asleep at 9. Awesome.

On another note, work is going wonderful. I have been getting to go out on my own more and more lately. I had a fun day in ICU today...It was my 1st time going to the ICU alone and i did good. (at least i felt good about it!) I found out that by going into work at 4am, that is still 3rd shift, and that means i get paid a little more for those hours! Yae, so my paycheck today was a little higher than i was expected, so its like free money! Woo-hoo.

I am so bored right now in class, we are sort of discussing media (which is what this class is: "Intro to broadcast media"...but the kids always go off on tangents and personal opinions that really arent related at all to this class. Like psychology of people and stuff and the main reason it bugs me in this class is b/c this class isnt full of psychology or sociology majors and they spout "facts" that i know are wrong, but i dont feel like participating at the moment just to correct them. The other thing they do that bugs me is repeat each other. Over and over again. Argh. i think i may leave early. We are currently discussing violence in the media. which is sort of related to our class but we are discussing it like my sociology class does only without much of the needed knowledge to back it up. everyone has a statistic. And two different people will spout the same concept with two totally different numbers. B/c numbers can be skewed. anyway, thats enough, i am not going to get into what i think about violence in the media right now other than to say, a majority of the responsibility falls to parents to raise their kids right.

OK, this is long and boring and rambling. So bye.

why wont he sleep?

2006-11-07T21:56:00.000-05:00

Logan has been so good for the last few weeks about going to bed. But not tonight. Tonight, he just doesnt want to sleep i guess. It is just about 10pm and he doesnt seem any closer to sleep than he did 1 1/2 hours ago. And of course i have to be up at 3am so i can be at work at 4. I hate getting so little sleep when i have to get up so early, it makes the day seem so long. And we dont really do naps anymore so i cant count on a nap after work. Of course, logan took a nap today. On the way home from going to vote, he passed out in the car. And he stayed asleep after we got home, so i did get a nap today. Thats probably why he wont sleep now. Plus it rained all day, so I couldnt take him out and wear him out like i usually do. I tried to play in the house, but it is just not the same.

Hope everybody voted today! Hopefully the results will be good and some change will be coming. ;) I am going to try again to get logan into his bed. I am so friggin' tired.

wally

2006-11-05T20:45:00.000-05:00

Recently, a friend of mine passed away from cancer. He was 66. I met him when I was 18 at the Elks Lodge when I first went to work there as a waitress/dishwasher. My dad belonged to the club and introduced me to everyone. Wally and his brother Cliff always stood out as some of the best guys there. Wally was actually always my favorite. I was only a waitress there for a little while, but later I came back to work as a bartender and I joined the Elks myself as the youngest member at 21. I joined just after my birthday. ;) I used to work Sunday afternoons when it was really slow in the bar and many times i would call my parents up to have them come hang out so I wouldnt be bored. Eventually, Wally and his wife Joyce started coming up on Sundays to keep me company as well. I always remember being so glad they showed up because they were both just so fun to be around. Wally always had lots of jokes, and was really great at getting you so involved in this story and he told it so well that you didnt realize he was telling you a joke until the punchline. And he got everyone, all the time with those kind of jokes. He was very loving and readily expressed how much he cared for you. And his favorite word was "awesome". "You're awesome!" "I really do love you" and he would always tell the ladies how pretty they were. I can still here the way he would tell me I was so awesome and how much he loved seeing me at the bar.

I havent actually seen Wally in quite some time. I quit bartending at the Lodge when i was about 5 months pregnant with Logan, but I had been up there a few times since and he always greeted me with a hug and a kiss, and a "Youre awesome!"... When i found out he was in the hospital, i planned to go see him. But before I could, he passed away. So today I went to his service. And so did about 200 other folks. Wally touched alot of people's lives in such a big way. It was incredibly heartwarming to see what a huge turnout he had. Many people agreed that he would have been shocked to see that many people there for him, since he was a rather humble man. I teared up a few times as I listened to different people speak about their experiences with wally. It was a beautiful ceremony and after everyone did what wally loved to do: Party with friends and have a good time.

So, here's to you Wally- i am glad to have known you and will miss you greatly.

i suck!

2006-11-03T21:08:00.000-05:00

Today i sucked at work. i have been doing really well the last couple of weeks and then today i had a day where I just could stick anyone!...and everyone was all reassuring that it happens to everyone, and i have seen it happen to other people, but it still sucked. I was shocked how many patients I had to stick twice or if i missed the first time, i just let someone else stick them the second time. And i wasn't even up on the floors...On the floors you have all the patients who are really sick, many of them old and dying with crappy veins and today i was in express, which is the outpatient lab where you usually see much healthier people with better veins (altho not always!) and i couldn't get it right today. I was just off. I felt off this morning...and it continued thruout the day. Like little waves of lightheadedness. (is that even a word?)...

Anyway, i did my best not to stress out over it, altho i told everyone that "i suck" and then laughed about it. i am not going to freak out about it and i will do my best not to dwell on it b/c that will just make me anxious and nervous come Monday and that wont do me any good. It was just a bad, sucky day. Just the 1st of many probably. (at least thats what they tell me. most of them say that everyone pretty much sucks for their first year and then it just clicks) and i have to be honest, I have gotten nothing but positive feedback from everyone. I have gotten a few patients who were difficult sticks and impressed my trainers, so i know i am good at this.

Ok, enough with the pity/pep talk to myself. Just had to get that out there tho. **sigh** All better now. Logan is off to his daddy's new place of residence for the weekend. Joe got all moved in and seems much happier where he is living now, and his roommate has a little girl who is about to turn 4, so Logan will have a playmate every other week when he is there. He will probably really enjoy that. She is there this weekend, so i will hear about it by Sunday.

School is going good, getting a little stressful as the semester drags on, but i am holding steady still. I try not to think about the amount of work i have to do until i am doing it. I have learned to just take it one assignment, one class at a time. Of course, i have had to learn to manage my time a little better (which i still have not mastered at all) so i am better able to space things out. But, i do have a spanish quiz tomorrow that i dont think i am all that prepared for.

and my teacher in that class drives me nuts. she is crazy and kind of bitchy. She always has an attitude, especially with the students if they say something or ask something she doesnt like, or dont know the answer to what she is asking. That last part is especially frustrating because we are in spanish 1 because we dont know anything about spanish. and some of these kids are really really trying, but they just dont get it that well. they always have their homework done and we talk about how much they study, but when they dont know the answers to the in-class oral stuff, it sounds like she is berating them by saying things like "you have to actually do your homework to learn this stuff" and "why dont you know this yet" and other similar sentiments...and if you could hear her condescending tone of voice, it would irritate you too.

She is also trying to change her grading policies for attendance halfway thru the semester...She has told us 2 different things regarding the way she grades for attendance and participation...one from the syllabus and one slightly different (but close enough) way. then last week, she was explaining grades to someone and she used a completely different point scale to compute that portion of the grade. And coming from someone who has taken 120credit hours, her way is totally fucked and very unfair. This one student was in the hospital and instead of losing the 1-2 points for a day of absence (a 1/4 - 1/2 point per credit hour..she has never been specific on that and its a 4 credit hour course) she took off a whole point for every hour this girl was gone. If she does it that way, if you miss 3 classes you are in the negative for points. And most teachers will "excuse" absences that have documentation (like hospital/court) and she wont. She has yelled at students and snatched papers right out of students hands and now she is trying to tell us we have to be at a different final exam time and day than what the university has posted.

When students register for classes, they also tend to look at the final exam schedule to make sure it is "doable"...we are taking a saturday class because many kids cannot go during the week and she is trying to tell us we have to take our final on a friday afternoon, in the middle of the day. she said it was a college-wide change that just occurred, but i have searched and searched for that change on the calendars and i cant find any mention of it for this semester. She is just crazy and mean.

And i have just devoted entirely too much energy to her. but i feel better. Just venting, i guess. ;)

Well, it is time for bed. Friday nite off and i spent it watching all my DVR'ed shows, bitching about school and work to all of you, and now i am going to bed early. I freaking rock!

Good nite.

Happy late Halloween

2006-11-02T15:23:00.000-05:00

was going to post this on Halloween, but i was having trouble getting Blogger to work...plus my internet connection was all crappy too, So i ended up giving up in frustration. ;(

But, I am back today to tell you about Halloween. It went fabulous. Everyone had a great time. And this was one of the warmest Halloweens we have had in a while. I always looked forward to Halloween being the start of the cooler weather, but it was cold for a week before and then warmed right back up. I shouldn't complain, after having dealt with the 90's all summer, the low 80's will do for now. ;)

Anyway, Devin looked adorable as a little ghost, but really didnt care about the candy. But he did enjoy running up everyone's driveways and stuff. Logan, on the other hand, once he figured out the concept of trick-or-treating, had a blast. He really enjoyed knocking on the doors of people who had dogs. One in particular stands out in my mind. This very large and very angry, growling dog who for sure wanted to eat all of us for treats...Logan got all excited. The dog didnt scare him at all. Even the owner said he was mean...Logan has no fear of animals..which is cool in some ways, but a little nerve racking in another.

Here are some pics of everyone in their costumes, and one of logan painting for the very first time. He had so much fun. ;) I will post more when i have more time.

saturday nite at home

2006-10-28T19:38:00.000-04:00

well, here it is, saturday night and I am at home with the boy. Which is cool. With my new job and school, i really dont get to see him as much as i used to and i have to admit i hate it. I loved spending so much time with him everyday, as tiring as it may have been, it was great. I am hoping next semester will be better, but we will see.

I dont know if i mentioned it already, but i lost my serving job. for not going to a stupid meeting. a meeting i told them i would not be able to attend because of school and my other job. they didnt care tho and fired me anyway. "zero tolerance" and that sort of shit. Well, i am glad to be rid of the place if that is how they feel about an employee of 5 1/2 years with loyal service and a clean record. Of course, i would have rathered quit and i was going to after christmas (i could have used the extra $50-100 a week it brought in) but it is the 1st job i have ever been fired from. And i dont like that. Of course, they will still give me a good recommendation if i ever need one. bastards. oh well.

I am sure i have mentioned this tho: i love, absolutely love, my new job. it is going great. the people i work with are cool (there is no one that is all that bad, which is something new for me. there are some i like more than others but no one that i dont like). And it turns out that i am pretty decent at what i do. I still need alot of work, but i do pretty good already. i feel pretty confident most of the time too. I wish i was part time instead of oncall, but i am sure something will eventually open up for me in that area. (i want benefits)...

Oh- and my crappy school insurance actually finally started paying some of my medical bills. So now i have to start paying my portion, but they are paying about 60% of the totals. i had really begun to think they werent going to pay anything and that i wasted all that money getting it. Granted, i probably wont renew when it's time b/c the coverage isnt all that good.

I got logan his costume tonite. we are going to the american legion's halloween bbq for the kids tomorrow afternoon and on tuesday we plan to go trick or treating with auntie kathleen and devin in their neighborhood (since ours is woodsy and dark and too spaced out)...I cant wait. For some reason this year tho, i just am not as in to halloween (or any of the holidays) as i usually am. this is my favorite holiday of the year and i am just sort of blah. Anyway, logan is going as this little mechanic kid. He already owns a pair of shoes with the Cars car on it and they really didnt have a great selection. (of course i did wait til the last minute) and i know he wont wear a mask or anything so i went with this. hopefully it fits him alright and is as cute as i think it will be. ;)

Anyway, thats all i have for now.

He did it!

2006-10-23T19:33:00.000-04:00

Logan actually went pee in the toilet today! YAE! We are officially on our way to potty training. And its funny, we started a while back and then when it wasnt going anywhere, and he was getting frustrated, we took a break from it. I mean, we still had him sit on the potty everyday, either in the morning or bedtime, or any other time he wanted to, but we didnt hover and ask him all day long or use the training pants. And then today, i was in the kitchen with Kathleen and we heard Logan in the bathroom.

So I went in to see what he was up to and he had put the potty seat on the toilet and was trying to put the stepstool in place and get on. So i helped him with the stool and then helped him take his pants and diaper off and he sat on the toilet. Now, usually he just plays. He gets some toilet paper and puts it in the toilet and repeats this for a bit before trying to touch the water from between his legs. So i had turned my back on him for a second while i got his new diaper ready. when i turned back around, there was what i thought was water all over his legs and the toilet. But when i got a closer look, i realized it was pee! he wasnt sitting far enough back on the seat for it to go in the toilet, so it went out instead. (boys...) I was so excited. Kathleen came in and we gave a big cheer for the big boy. He hasnt gone since, but he did wear some training pants for the afternoon and did sit on the potty after he had gone pee again, but hey, it's a step in the right direction. I am taking this as a sign from Logan that he is ready to start potty training again.

Besides, he has really hated to let us change his diaper lately, so this will be something nice to look forward to..not having to at all. And i am not fooling myself, I know it could still be a long time before he is trained, but any step is a step in the right direction!

Well. thats all the news i have really. Work is going really good. they are letting me out on my own a little. Not totally alone, but with my own rooms and patients, while someone is on the same floor as me in case i have a problem or a question. And last monday when they told me they were doing this, i was really nervous, but by friday, i was looking forward to it and today, i just grabbed my little stack and after doing ICU with Anna, i said, ok, see you after i am done. And i went on my way. Granted, i am alot slower than anna, so she ended up meeting up with me after she finished her patients on that floor and i was still working on mine. BUt oh well. And I get to go in tomorrow and thursday and work 4am-8am and help out with Fastings. (all the morning draws the doctors order...there are a lot of them in that time period. thats when they can guarantee the patients have actually fasted thruout the nite...anyway)..same deal - i wont be totally alone, but i will not have someone right there with me. Yae.

I am so glad i went for this job. I think i may have gotten fired from my other job for not attending some meeting (that they only scheduled for when i am in class and i am NOT missing class to remain a waitress, especially when i have this other job) I dont know yet for sure, my friend (who is a manager) is supposed to call me this week. he is trying to help me keep my job. I really just want to keep it until my probation is over at the hospital and until after christmas. the extra money would be nice for that. But oh well.

thats all for real this time. I am going to get logan ready for bed. He fell asleep last nite at 10 after 8 and i am hoping that since he woke up early today and had no nap and played outside alot he will do the same today so that i can be in bed by 9 again. Getting up at 3 am requires some sleep. So good nite!!!

Sitting in class

2006-10-19T10:58:00.000-04:00

Well, i am sitting here, in class, which i was running late too, and now we are just watching videos. Which is ok, but at the same time, i could be spending time with my son and/or getting things done around the house. Granted the video we are watching right now is about Seinfield and it is pretty funny.

But i did hurry out here, and had to deal with traffic. And then i drove around for 25 minutes looking for a parking spot. Which in and of itself is probably the most frustrating part of my school day. I hate parking here on campus. it sucks.

This morning my mom said something that made me feel awful as a mother. I was asking her if I could pick up a few short shifts in the mornings next tue/thur (4am-8am) and she made a comment that i am never home to see my son in the mornings. (Which i'm not). She told me that Logan used to wake up in the morning and go to his door and yell "hi mom!" until someone came and got him. And now he goes to the door and looks down the hall to Grandma's room and hollers "Hi Gram!"... While its cute, it does make me a little sad.

Is it always this depressing when you have to work and leave your child in someone else's care for any portion of the day while you work? I try to spend more time with him when i am home with him. Like today I am going to try and take him to the park and spend some quality time with him. But you know, some days that just doesnt work out. Either i end up with a lot of homework, or there are things to do around the house. And sometimes I am just so tired that i just cant drag my ass outside with him. And then, of course, i feel guilty. Maybe this is normal. But it sucks.

I am considering looking into some sort of preschool/day care for logan. Only part time, but the thought of it really bothers me still. I am mainly thinking about it because babysitting is so hard on my mom. She gets pretty stressed out after babysitting all week and she cant get a whole lot done. Of course, it isnt just logan, it's Devin too. And i understand: my mom already raised her babies. But, in my defense, i didnt sign up for so many classes or take a day job without talking to my mom about it many times before hand. She agreed to it and pushed me to go for it. Get my degree, get a job outside of waiting tables, go for it. So, i am torn. I am trying to find a way to make her "job" less demanding, or more rewarding. I try paying her, or taking her to lunch or buying her a carton of cigarettes. But i dont know if that makes it easier to deal with for her or not.

Well, that is all for today, the teacher's video ended and now its Howard Stern. And she is looking for another video to put in. About children's programming. But i think I am going to take off. I want to have lunch with logan today. So thats all for now, so Good Bye!

out on the boat!

2006-10-15T15:44:00.000-04:00

Today Logan had his first boat ride ever! and i got to go on my dad's boat for the first time (he bought it 6 years ago and i still hadnt been on it!! just bad luck coordinating my schedule). I went to walmart and bought logan his very own lifevest (it happens to be Spongebob b/c that was the first one i found in his size).

before we got out there, i was so worried he wouldnt enjoy the boat at all, or have a meltdown or get bored (because at this age, he is just so very unpredictable and usually a little scared of the water) but he had a great time. He only got a little nervous the first time we went fast. While everyone else was fishing, he was just checking everything out. He overcame his fear of the water, because after a while he was trying to lean over the edge and touch it. I held his legs and lowered him so he could. THen he wanted to jump in. We didnt bring the ladder for the boat, (so getting in and out is really difficult. my sister and i tried...)So my dad and I held onto him and lowered him all the way in the water. That satisfied him for a bit.

when we ran out of bait we decided to motor over to an island with a nice beach so we could all get in the water, but on the way, Logan passed out in my arms. i laid him on the seat and instead we just motored in. i took pictures on a funsaver camera and as soon as i get them developed, i will post them. I was amazed- the dog was actually really well behaved out there too. He was like a totally different dog. Logan was real still and quiet at first as well. Maybe its actually them being nervous b/c they dont know what's going on.

I am so glad that this boat trip went well. I was worried about everything before we got out there and i know i hovered around logan a little more than what was probably necessary (anna made fun of me while we were out there for that), but i had fun and so did everyone else, so that's what counts. Anna tried telling me to relax and have a good time. I told her i was having a good time, and that i am used to "hovering" so it doesnt take away from my fun. She thinks i am insane, but oh well.

Now i cant wait for the next time we can go out on the boat again and bring logan. Maybe next time, Joe can come and go fishing with his boy. Logan has his own real fishing pole (not one of those plastic things, this one is a real, mini pole. its so cute), but he is a little young for it...Or a little too unfocused at this point to use it. But i cant wait until he is ready. wont that be adorable?!??

Anyway, this was a great way to end a gorgeous weekend. Now all i need is a shower. Fat chance for that since logan woke up on the way home. Oh well.

waiting for class

2006-10-12T10:38:00.000-04:00

I am sitting in class, waiting for the teacher to get going...the sooner she starts, the sooner class will be over and i can go home.

I have recently discovered that taking notes on my laptop is SOOOO much easier than trying to write everything down. Turns out i type way faster than i can write, and i dont have to worry about legibility. Its awesome. I dont know why i held out for so long on doing things this way.

I left 5 minutes earlier today than usual, and wow! i got to school 15 minutes earlier than normal. I missed ALL the traffic and it was awesome. I got to school, and instead of driving around looking for a spot to park for 20 minutes, i pulled in and there was an entire row of open spots. I couldnt believe my eyes. So instead of wasting 20 minutes finding a spot and then rushing to class hoping i am not late, i got a spot right away and had 30 minutes until my class started. I had no idea what to do with myself, so i did the responsible thing and read the chapter that we are covering today. (its weird- my class is about 1/2 empty. it makes me wonder what is going today that i missed out on!)

So my new job is going great and my old job still sucks. My schedule at my old job has been cut to just one serving shift (friday nites) and i am totally ok with that. It means i will have a few weekends off! Because at my new job, during training - you dont train on the weekend. Yae! But they are making it sound like i will be going off on my own in 2 or 3 weeks. Which sorta scares me, but it is exciting too. I think i am doing good and anna tells me that i am ready to go out alone. Of course, my boss asked me to stick her to see how i was doing. Which really threw be off guard and you add to that the fact that she is hardly ever there when i am, so i am not incredibly comfortable with her yet anyway...So I get alll my stuff ready to draw her blood, and I freaking missed. No blood. I mean everyone misses, even the most experienced, but still. And i was able to tell her why i missed (i didnt anchor her vein good enough and went in right next to it) and that was good, but still...I MISSED. arghhh

So that was a little stressful, but I am getting over it. I am sure she will ask me to do it again at some point and if i miss her again, i think i will just die!

So, anyway...How is life going out there?? It is going alright over here. Logan is doing well, but we are definitely entering the fun and wonderful 2 year phase...When he can be so sweet and cute and do things that show off how smart and creative and imaginative, but then he can turn around and be such a jerk and really show his ass. When i tell him no that we cannot go outside, he will freak out. He has even gone over to a table or a wall and bang his head against it! He gets over things pretty quickly usually, but its so stressful until he does. Especially if Devin is around, b/c if one of them gets upset and hasnt calmed down all the way yet before the other starts bugging him, then it escalates until you have 2 screaming crazy children. Its deafening in that house sometimes. I feel bad for my mom, she is home with both of them right now and when i called her last, i could hear both screaming. Apparently both kids woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Logan woke up about 7am this morning screaming...(he doesnt normally wake until 830/9am)...He did the same yesterday. But the problem this morning is that devin was already over and he isnt in the best of moods today (we think he may be teething again - molars)

Well, thats enough for now, gotta get to work taking notes. Its been great...Hope to be back on a more regular basis soon. I think i am getting into the swing of things and little better. i will probably figure it out just in time for this semester to end and then i will have a whole new schedule to adjust to...oh well.

the weekend

2006-10-08T20:51:00.000-04:00

Hey there! How are you all doing? i am doing pretty good myself. It's the end of the weekend and I actually had the whole thing off! Well, i was supposed to work friday nite, but due to a goofup on Joe's part (he locked his keys in his work truck) and a misunderstanding on my sister and mom's part (they thought i only needed a sitter for an hour, when i really needed one for about 3 hours), i ended up leaving work (at the restaurant) after only being there one hour. And i just happened to be scheduled off the rest of the weekend. (because i needed last weekend off for a wedding i went to and my manager just copied last weeks schedule for this week.) So..

Friday nite i just stayed home and caught up on some shows i had recorded (Grey's Anatomy and Boston Legal) and didnt much of anything. On saturday i had class in the morning, but that evening I went with my sister anna to this Employee Appreciation thing. She is on the committee that puts together that sort of thing and this was for employees reaching their 5, 10, 15, ect..years of service at the hospital. Well she gets to go b/c she is on the team and she got to bring a guest so I got to go. We went to the Pirate's Dinner theatre. It was fun. We got picked to be participants in the show as well (thankfully it was a very minor part!) It was funny b/c just before our pirate picked us i had just told anna how much i did NOT want to participate. and then he showed up at our table and asked us to go with him. I sucked down a good portion of my very expensive daquari and followed. (our daquari (which was unbelievably strong) was in a collectors cup and cost $12.50 each!) That was all we paid for all nite, admittance was free and we took the bus over, which was also free.

Today, logan came home and the 3 of us met anna at Beef O'bradys for lunch and had a good time. Before that we went to the park to kill time until it was lunchtime. After we got home, i took logan outside for a while and then this evening Kathleen, devin, logan and I went to a different park and let the kids play for almost 2 hours. They had a blast. Logan suddenly learned how to climb ladders and all the other things they have at playgrounds for kids to climb. I couldnt help but be nervous and stand right near or under him as he climbed up so high. And he is apparently not afraid of the tall, curvy, covered slide at the park anymore because he went down it like 20 times. He acted like such a big boy at the park today. it was so cute.

Wow, who knew taking 14 credit hours and trying to work 2 part time jobs and be mommy in between would keep someone so damn busy?!? ;) I am seriously giving some thought to quitting my old job. I really really like it at the hospital and i think i am doing good there and even though i really like making that cash in hand, i just dont know if it is worth it. Worth the hassle of working somewhere like that, worth the hassle of being so absolutely worn out on Fridays when i work 8 hours in the morning and then work that night serving and then get up early for school on sat and have to go to work 2 hours after i get back, and then having to alternate my sundays. I mean, right now while i am training at the hospital, i dont have to work weekends and i could be getting a whole lot done on those days instead of busting my butt at a place that honestly doesnt really care. Certain individuals do and they are the only reason i am still there. 2 bosses and a few coworkers are my only reasons for staying. the rest of em (and theres a lot) i could care less if i ever see again. I dunno. Maybe with me leaving early on friday and telling them i will not be attending their "mandatory" meeting (go or risk not being on the schedule ever again) - maybe they will make my decision for me. i doubt it. you have to kill someone there to get fired. We'll see. But they usually make examples of and have higher standards for those of us like me, who work hard and follow the rules and are anal about the work that gets down. ANyway...Thats all i feel like saying about that.

Well, thanks for stopping by and catching up. All in all things are going good. School is good, work is good, and the family is good. Just busy. ;) Hope to be back soon.

so little time & so much to do

2006-09-28T22:16:00.000-04:00

Hey there. How is it going? I havent been around as much lately, and i Miss you guys. I used to read everyone's blogs everynight before bed, and here lately, i havent had a chance to read them almost all week. I mean, it is nice to be so busy, but I miss my free time too.

I feel like I am always on my way to do something...I am either at one job or the other or at school. And when i am home, i just want to play with my son, or let my brain rest and do nothing. I dont feel like doing homework, or housework or sometimes even play with logan. (I mean horseplay or outside play. sometimes i just wanna color or watch tv with him b/c i am so tired. But he always wants to go outside, which is fun some days, but on others...**sigh**i just wanna take a nap) (I miss naps) But we dont get what we want all the time do we? So i just have to make it thru this semester like this and things will ease up some. I have a much better schedule as far as timing goes for next semester.

And a sidenote to anyone in school-- dont take saturday classes. They suck. You work and have school all week and if you are like me you work on the weekends too, and to add a 4 hour Sat class to the mix??? ICKY! I understand now why they had "Saturday School" as punishment in high school. Because it sucks. I jokingly said to kathleen (who i have the sat. class with) that this is our punishment for taking so damn long to finish our degrees. we leave for school at 8am and dont get home until 2. Then i have to be at work at 4 for my restaurant job. This is after my long Friday (where i work at the hospital from 5am-130pm and then work at the restaurant 5pm-11pm) and I am very tired already. ugh. I think i might drop my saturday night from my work schedule very soon. I just need more time to get my school work done. And since Logan is at Joe's on saturdays, it would be a good day to have off. Plus that is "housecleaning day" here, so i would have more time for that as well.

Anyway, the new job is coming along great. I still really like it and today i got my 1st paycheck! Yae! I am getting more confident at what i am doing and am doing fairly well. When i see a patient who doesnt have huge prominent veins (like me) I dont shy away and just let my trainer draw them. I have actually been going for it myself. Now, if i am really uncomfortable and cant find a vein, then i let them do it for me, but my 1st week i would even go near those patients. So i am making progress. And i am learning my way thru the hosptial. I suck at navigation usually, so for me, this is a big thing. I actually have a vague idea where to go now when i see the room numbers and stuff. And it is nice training with my sister b/c we are so much alike she can explain things to me and show me things and i get it the first time thru b/c we think so much alike.

Well, this has got to be one of the most boring posts ever, but i felt like giving an update, so thats why i am going to post this anyway. Sorry. I have a good weekend coming up and i cant wait for tomorrow to be over. Saturday evening I am going to a friend's wedding and we (joe & I) got a hotel room so we can stay over and my mom is going to keep logan for me. ANd then Sunday is Devin's 1st Birthday party. Today is his actual birthday. I cant believe he is a year old already. He was so itty bitty when he was born. (he was 5 weeks early) and now he is a little stocky thing. He is so cute! Grandma and I went shopping today for his presents and i think he will like them. (i got logan something small too...couldnt help myself)...

The 1st picture is from right after he was born and had been transferred to the NICU at Flroda Children's Hospital - they had just had his christening. The 2nd one is from a few weeks ago. Nice and chubby. ;)

Anywho- Good Nite!

having fun

2006-09-25T21:27:00.000-04:00

Logan decided today that the most funnest place is the dog's cage. He spent a good half hour going in and out of the cage today. Both with and without the dog.

He had run out into the breezeway and I was a few minutes behind. When i went out there, this is what i saw:But that's not all we did today. We went for a walk:

We played with chalk. Who needs war paint, when you have war chalk?

And then logan snapped a few pictures. Here is one.

And here is a video of Logan chasing the dog and finally ending up in the cage:

Carnival time & other stuffs

2006-09-23T21:42:00.000-04:00

Its Carnival time again over at the blogging chicks! Go check it out..its a shorter carnival this week than most, but still worth going and seeing.

In other news...

Joe, Logan and I all went out to dinner tonight and had a fabulous time. We went to Roadhouse and pigged out. Logan was so well behaved, and he actually ate most of his dinner. Joe and I got an appetizer, i got Prime Rib and he got a Roadie, and then we both had desserts. I had their huge chocolate cake with chocolate mousse and dark choc cake and choc syrup and mmmmm, it was awesome. I gave Logan a small bite and the next thing i know, he is sitting in my lap wrestling the spoon away from me and then he went to town on the cake too. It was great. After we got home and daddy went home, Auntie Kathleen and devin came by on their way back into town and they had a good time playing together. Logan definitely needed someone more on his energy level to burn off that cake with! And devin was just the man for the job. Now, devin and auntie have gone home and Logan is in bed and i am praying it will be an easy night. We'll see. This week hasnt gone anywhere near as smoothly as last week did.

Last week, logan went to bed around 9 and was sleeping within 20 minutes or so. (and no naps during the day). This week, logan took a few short naps (like passed out in his chair for a half hour in the middle of playing, or fell asleep in Devins swing out side...) and at bedtime, took alot longer to fall asleep and needed me to go in there a few times. It started last Sunday nite when he came home from Joe's. Of course, that night I really wanted to get to bed early since i had to get up at 3am so i could work at 4. And of course, logan didnt fall asleep until after 11 that night. Well, that night was the latest and the worst, but the rest of the week wasnt much better. So Joe thinks it might be the transition from his house to our house. At his daddy's, they share a bed. (because logan crawls out of his and into Joe's. no matter how many times joe moves him back, at some point in the night, logan ends up back in bed with him)...So this week, joe spent his time with Logan at our house. He even spent the night Friday night. (we thought he was going to have to babysit Devin this morning while Kathleen and I were at class, but they tried out a new sitter today instead) and Joe hung out with Logan here. Then i called out of work tonight at the restaurant and the 3 of us hung out together. So we will see if this coming week is any different. If it is, then we can probably assume that it is the bed thing. Transitioning back and forth is probably hard on him and sometimes he just handles it better i guess. I am hoping that given some more time, it will work itself out. We'll see i guess.

in case i havent said it recently-I absolutely love my new job. It is going great. I am actually excited to go to work. That hasnt happened in a long time. My parents tease me that i feel like that because now i have a "real" job. One where not everyone is considered a dime a dozen. and they are probably right. The main reason i havent left my old job is because it is my security. I know that job will always be there, i know i am one of the best employees there, and i have alot of senority, plus i can make the money i need to and change my schedule on a whim. THe new job isnt like that. I havent been the new person in years. I have only ever had one other job where i had no clue what i was doing and actually had to be taught everything from the ground up. Its definitely an experience. but i am enjoying it.

Well, school work is calling my name, and after that...bedtime. I am very tired. i am still adjusting to these early-ass shifts. So have a good rest of the weekend.

teeth and pain

2006-09-19T17:08:00.000-04:00

I am so uncomfortable right now. I went and had my two top back molars forcibly removed from my head earlier today. By choice. Am i retarded or what? Well, now i am sitting here biting down on gauze and the feeling is starting to come back to parts of my face and i just wicked uncomfortable. No pain yet, but i am sure that will come soon enough. And i am hungry. And i really want a smoke. I hate the dentist. I get all stressed out and freak out over it and then when i am done, i cant even have a smoke. (i know you are all thinking i should just quit anyway...ya ya...) I cant have any hot drinks and my favorite comfort drink is hot tea. Arrggghhhhh.

Oh and i looked at the 2 teeth he pulled and man, i wouldnt suggest looking at the things that are removed from your body. They are being removed because they are broken in some way, so they probably arent pretty. Well, i think i will be going to get my pain pills soon so that i can have them for when it starts to hurt.

This sucks. I am soooo NOT a happy camper.

Oh-- check out my post about Supporting Breast Cancer Research...

sleep and work

2006-09-18T22:04:00.000-04:00

Today was the first day of my second week at my new job. Today, I had the pleasure of having to be at work at 4am(!!!!!). OMG-it was horrible. Well, work itself wasnt, the whole waking up at 3 in the morning part was. Especially when you consider the fact that Logan didnt fall asleep until sometime after 11 last night. My dad had told me to go to bed at 10 and that he would take care of sending logan back to bed if he got back up again. Well, after listening to my dad try and logan cry for an hour, i finally couldnt take it anymore and took over. I got him to fall asleep with in minutes of tucking him back in. I guess he just needed mommy one more time. And my dad has a different method than i do, so that probably was just too much for an overtired little boy to handle.

Whenever he comes home from Joe's- that first night home is always the hardest. Here, we have done away with naptime. He just doesnt take one. But at Joe's, he will just pass out. On the bed, on the floor, on the couch, wherever. And he will not wake up if Joe tries to rouse him. Pushes his hand away and rolls over and continues to sleep. So, that means bedtime takes a little longer. Which has been fine every other weekend, but i never had to be up at 3am before. And my sister Anna was supposed to call me to make sure i got up on time today. She never called, but i got up right on time. I called her at 330 to tell her I was on my way to pick her up and she didnt answer. I just assumed she was in the shower or something. So when i showed up at her house at 345am and absolutely no lights were on, i knew something was up. I called her phone again and she comes running out of the house in her pj's freaking out. It is only the second time in 2 years at this job that she has overslept. Thank god i came to get her today or who knows what time she would have gotten into work. Well, she set a record today for "fastest getting ready for work ever"...we left her house at 350 and clocked in at work at exactly 4am on the dot. We rock.

In case you are wondering, they are letting me stick people now. I actually started that on my second day. (which was this past friday). Today, since i was so tired and we were not that busy, i didnt stick anyone for 2 hours and even then, i think i only stuck about 4 or 5 patients. And today, i didnt miss at all. (friday, i did great on my first one, missed my 2nd, and then got a whole bunch in a row, and then missed a whole bunch in a row...But thats how it goes sometimes.) I like working with my sister. And everyone so far is really great and super nice. There is only one woman there that i dont think i will like, but only because of her work ethic. She is nice, but lazy. And i cant stand that at work. Everyone has warned me about her, so i will just keep my eyes out for her and try to not pre-judge her until i see things with my own eyes.

It's funny- i dont get nervous while i am actually sticking someone. I get nervous afterwards. Once i am done (whether i do it perfect or miss) then i get the butterflies in my stomach. I still think about all the things i still have to learn, and i wonder how long it will take for me to get really comfortable sticking people and i get a little stressed out, but my sister is really good at trying to calm my nerves about it and give me lots of feedback.

Well, thats all i am going to write for now about work. I am sure i have bored you by now anyway. ;)

And Dont forget to look at my previous post and if you can support the cause at all, that would be great!

Race for the Cure

2006-09-14T14:36:00.000-04:00

My friend Troy's sister has breast cancer. Her name is Bobbi and she has a website where you can donate to the Race for the Cure. Please go visit her site and donate if you can.

Her site is affiliated with the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. Here is a little bit about the foundation:

For more than 20 years, the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation has been
a global leader in the fight against breast cancer through its support of innovative research and community-based outreach programs. Working through a network of U.S. and international Affiliates and events like the Komen Race for the Cure®, the Komen Foundation is fighting to eradicate breast cancer as a life-threatening disease by funding research grants and supporting education, screening and treatment projects in communities around the world.

The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation was founded on a promise made between two sisters – Susan Goodman Komen and Nancy Goodman Brinker. Suzy was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1978, a time when little was known about the disease and it was rarely discussed in public. Before she died at the age of 36, Suzy asked her sister to do everything possible to bring an end to breast cancer. Nancy kept her promise by establishing the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation in 1982 in Suzy’s memory.

I emailed Bobbi and asked her to tell us a little about herself:

Kristie.. Hi... well, i was diagnosed July 05 at the age of 32 with stage
lla invasive cancer and stage 3 DCIS. I underwent a bilateral mastectomy, 6 months of chemo and am looking forward to my reconstruction next year. I am still in treatment with other IV medications on a weekly basis through my port but doing great and looking forward to the walk.Hopefully with all the advances and research with money donated to the Komen Foundation, I will live a long and happy life. Thanks for posting that on your blog...

Thanks for your help.

1st day!

2006-09-13T22:15:00.000-04:00

So today was my first day at the hospital. It was cool. I didnt have to stick anyone today, but i will soon. After working in the restaurant business for so long, it is nice to work in such a completely different environment. I think the newness alone is worth it. ;) So i didnt do much besides follow my sister around today and watch her stick a bunch of people. It was very busy and all morning we visited people with crappy viens. On friday, i work with her friend on the floors and then go train with the trainer and watch some videos and i dont know what else. Everyone is so nice. And its funny, when i am with anna, the questions are always the same. In this order: "are you sisters?" .yes. "Twins?!?" .nope. "Anna- are you actually taller than someone?" .yep- by one inch (btw i am only 4'10.5") "who's older?" . i am. Every time, buy everyone! It was cute at first, but did get old after a while. But they mean well. There is so much to learn, i am still pretty nervous about it all.

There was one thing i didnt think about too much until today. With this new job, my old job and school, i see Logan alot less. And my mom & sister are babysitting alot more. Then you add in the days that logan goes to his dad's and my time with him has dropped drastically. I dont know how some people are able to work 8 hour days every day and not get to see their kids. I dont hold it against them that they do it, so dont go misunderstanding me, but i miss him! and then i feel guilty for not being around. Maybe its just cuz i have been around ALL the time for a little more than 2 years and its just new. He seems fine. Of course, he has grandma and Auntie and devin to play with, so he's happy.

Oh- and this is the 4th day of going to bed like a good boy and falling asleep with in a 1/2 hour. Its also the 4th day of no more naps. Well, he wasnt really taking them for a little while, but we were still putting him in his room for "nap time". UNtil 4 days ago. We decided to skip the fight and just forego nap time all together and see how cranky he got. Well, he didnt get cranky at all. He does chill out big time sometime between 430-6. He will play very quietly and mild, or sit down with a book &/or movie and just veg. And then he's back to normal playing and roughhousing and in bed by 9, asleep by 930. Its pretty neat. I miss nap time. Hopefully the "no nap" thing is just a phase and naptime will make an appearance again, because i certainly feel like i need one in the afternoons.

Especially if i work first shift at the hospital, like i am this week. 5am-130pm. I woke up at 3:52am today. 8 whole minutes before both my alarms went off. 10 minutes before my sister called to wake me up and my dad came down the hall to make sure i was up. (can you tell by this that i am not normally a morning person?)...I got to work on time and that was a huge relief for me. i was so worried i wouldnt be able to do it. And then i was worried i would be grouchy, b/c usually i am for the 1st half hour i am up. But the beautiful thing about getting up at 4 is that no one else is up. So there is no one to egg on the grouchiness, so i just do my thing and by the time i am at work, i am all the way awake and in a good mood.

So my next day at work is Friday morning and then i work next week mon, wed, fri. (i should be training all 5 days, but i have school tue/thur and they dont train on the weekends, all tho they may make an exception for me if my sister wants to take me on)...SO that said, i am very tired. I should have gone to bed at least an hour ago, but a friend called and i had to talk to him, since it had been a while since we last spoke. Good convo, but I will be tired in the A.M...

NITEY NITE!

New Job!

2006-09-12T21:59:00.000-04:00

I have my first real day at my new job tomorrow as a phlebotomist!! I am so freaking nervous. I cant sleep. And i have to be there at 5am. Yikes! I think i am being trained by my sister, so that takes the edge off a little. At least I know someone there. I will definitely post about how it all goes after work. Wish me luck!

2006-09-11T23:13:00.000-04:00

I was going to post today about what i did this day, 5 years ago. Today, some channels re-aired the footage they showed from 9-11-01. I actually wanted to watch it. As sad and terrible as the images are, i wanted to watch it and remember. I wanted to relive the way I felt when I watched it all on TV for the 1st time 5 years ago. All the previous anniversaries, i wasnt really ready to watch it, but this time around i was. My memories are getting more and more clouded as time goes on and I wanted to refresh them. So I would never forget. But i didnt get to watch the progams i wanted b/c i had to work today and after that, i played with Logan and Devin until logan's bedtime. (which btw, went great- he went right down. 2 nites in a row!).

But after regretting for a moment that i was unable to watch the things on tv i had wanted to, i realized that i DO remember. I remember quite well what i was doing, who i called, who i talked to and how i felt. And i felt grateful that I am still here to remember. And that i am luckier than some on this day of remembering because i did not lose anyone close to me. But i think that we, as a nation, lost our sense of invincibility that day.

I spent 9-11-01 glued to my couch watching the tv. At some point around 11am, i finally changed out of my pajamas. I had brought my comforter out to the couch with me when my boyfriend called to wake me to tell me to go turn on the news. After i got dressed, i wrapped myself back up in the comforter and spent the day waiting for him to come home from work, two-waying back and forth with him and our friend James. (who was originally from there. Who's dad was a cop there for years before they moved to FL) He was so much more shaken than I was. I had that zombie thing going on, while he was rambling on that "the towers wont ever fall. they just cant." and when they did, he began to cry a little and got off the phone with me to call his Grandmother who lived in NY (but not near the towers). I actually had to go into work that nite at the restaurant i work at. Driving to work was like driving thru a ghost town. No one was out. Everyone was at home watching the news. We tried convincing our manager to close, but he refused. We did very little business that nite. When i came home, i went right back to watching the news. I think i came out of the tv-zombie phase sometime the next afternoon.

That day is etched in my mind. It most certainly was a defining point for the United States. Things are "before 9-11" and "after 9-11" now.

It makes me appreciate what i have and who i have in my life. I appreciate the love I have in my life and that i am here to enjoy it. That my loved ones are here to enjoy it. That i am alive and well and so is my son and everyone else that i love. Since that day, i have made it a goal to not leave things badly. Even if i am fighting with my boyfriend, even if the argument hasnt been resolved completely, we try to at least say we love each other when we go. I dont always succeed. But most of the time, whenever someone leaves, or i leave, we say goodbye to each other nicely and usually throw in an "I love you", because you just never know.

I wonder about how i will tell my son about this day when he is older. Especially when he is learning about it in school. I will know how my parents felt when i would ask them about things i would learn about that they remembered and lived thru. How some things are remembered so clearly, but are so hard to convey to a young teenager who knows nothing about tragedy or suffering in the world or understands the scope of things in the world.

I really dont know what else to say about it.

I remember. And i wont forget.

Carnival

2006-09-10T23:21:00.000-04:00

The Blogging Chicks is having a September 11th tribute Carnival. Go on over and read some of their stories. I will probably post some sort of remembrance post after work tomorrow. Have a good day every one, and Never Forget.

panting sunflowers

2006-09-09T23:40:00.000-04:00

A few weeks back, Logan and grandma planted some sunflowers:

And now, we have sunflowers!!

Arent they beautiful? The ones we planted in the pots with miracle gro soil are these ones and they look great. The other ones, we planted in the ground on the other side of the stairs, and they are not much to look at. Only a few inches tall and no flowers. I dont know if its the soil, or if those ones are duds. Oh well. We have pretty flowers...

Well, i am getting pretty nervous...Monday i start at the hospital. I am nervous whether i will be good at it, whether I will be able to pull off both jobs and school, whether i can actually get up that early...and excited to try.

I had planned to bitch about work tonite on here, but after fiddling with the pictures and looking at some other ones of the kids, i have cheered myself up and could care less about those girls at work who i was so irritated with earlier. No worries. So i will just leave it with the flowers and my anxieties over the new job. I have all day tomorrow off with Logan, so i am going to try my best to wear us both out so we can go to bed nice and early. have a good rest of the weekend!

This is a test

2006-09-09T00:18:00.000-04:00

Iam testing out a new script thingy suggested by michele from the blogging chicks. Lets see how it works.

I just figured out how to do this "tagging" thing with html code and now theres this thing that does it for me. how neat. Of course, i still dont really get the whole "tag" thing. Maybe i just dont think my site gets enough traffic to really care. of course, this is supposed to increase my traffic right? but who really wants to read about my everyday life of school, work and my son? Oh ya, You do! hee hee. I am such a dee dee dee.

putting himself to bed and other updates

2006-09-06T23:10:00.000-04:00

Well, I got the job at the hospital that i mentioned forever ago. I was offered the on-call phelbotomy position. ;) Which means i will be very very part time. Actually i am not sure at all what kind of hours i will work, i will find out Monday. I go for orientation monday and during my lunch break, someone from the lab will come talk to me about my schedule. They dont offer insurance to on-call employees, but i will have first dibs on part-time positions as they become available and they do offer insurance to them, so thats cool. Today i went in to fill out paperwork and get a TB test, a hepatitis test, a physical and a vision test. I havent had a vision test in ten years, but my vision is still good, so thats a plus.

I had class tonite: Interviewing and counseling. I really enjoy this class. it is so unstructured, but the teacher does cover the things he says he will, just in an unconventional way. It is very refreshing to be in a class that isnt just some professor standing at the podium reading the powerpoint presentation to us (and the presentation is almost always straight from the book)...we do stuff in class together and talk and he is really goofy. Plus it is a small class (like 15 or so people)...Very fun.

Tonight when i got home from school (around 9), Logan was already asleep. He didnt take a nap today, so i figured he would go to bed easily. Well, apparently, he put himself to bed. Auntie Kathleen and grandma went up to his room so he could change for bed and he wanted to play, so they left him in his room. A little later (around 845) he called for someone and Auntie kathleen went to see what he want and he handed her a book and crawled into bed. So she read him a story and then he started playing again, so she left. When she went to check on him at 9, he had tucked himself into bed under the covers and was fast asleep. (in the typical guy position: on his back, with his arms behind his head)...

I just came in from checking on him. he looks so peaceful and sweet sleeping there. I could sit and watch him sleep for hours, but i know i would just end up bugging him, because i want to touch him. To stroke his hair, or the side of his face, or kiss his forehead. The days i am away from him i miss him. Especially days like today when he is being so damn cute and pleasant and cuddly. At one point today i had both Logan and devin each climbing a leg trying to get me to pick them up. at the same time. I tried kneeling down so i could sit with them both, but thats not what they wanted. Bummer for them...i am not big enough to hold both of them at once. ;)

Well, no class tomorrow morning, but Logan will surely wake up early, so i am off to bed.

Tags: parenting, sleep, child, career, school

singing and dancing

2006-09-05T21:59:00.000-04:00

Today while watching Blue's Clues, Logan sort of sang along with Steve...even doing the hand movements and jumping with him. It was so cute. Later, while auntie kathleen was putting the car seat in the car and i was watching Devin for her, i was entertaining him by singing and dancing..logan came in the room and started singing and dancing right alongside us. It was great fun all around.

Olbermann Rocks!

2006-09-01T04:41:00.000-04:00

a TV mom & tummy aches

2006-08-31T16:49:00.000-04:00

I am one of those horrible, icky parents who lets their kid watch tv. Well, videos really, or things i DVR for him. So i am controlling what he sees, and i dont generally let him watch crap. He also wont usually sit thru a whole 1/2 hour episode of anything. Unless he is either tired or a little under the weather. And we dont have the tv on all the time either. We will turn it on at some point in the 1st half of the day and then it goes off, and comes back on sometime in the evening. Now if we are babysitting Devin too (especially if we are by ourselves, like Just Me or just my mom with both kids) then the tv stays on. Most of the time, they are too busy with each other to watch it, but sometimes, its the perfect distraction while we go pee.

Anyway, i bring this up b/c the last 3 days i have noticed Logan watching more tv than usual. 3 days ago, he kept pulling me over to the tv and asking for it to be on.(well, sort of demanding actually.) And sometimes when i said no, he would climb up and try to make it work himself. So if i couldnt distract him with something else, i let him. And he parked it there for the longest time. He was just rather quiet that day, preferring to veg out, so i let him. We still played outside a couple times (this kid could be dieing but if you say "Outside" he will come running!)...I didnt think much of it until this continued for a couple days. We are on the 3rd or 4th day and he is still sort of out of it.

But what i did find out, was on the 1st day Logan pooped 3 times. (My son usually only goes maybe once a day, more likely once every 2 days.) Then the next day he went twice. And yesterday, i think he only went once, but OMFG, it was a huge, stinky, yucky mess. So there's that...and he's been noticeably gassy today and yesterday.

****TMI Alert:***
TMI about to occur in the next paragraph.
(and no i do not consider my kid's poop to be TMI. My poop is tho.)

Add to that: My mom and I have had "tummy problems" of our own for a few days. Me for about 3, her for 2. My stomach hurts, then it does that thing where you sort of feel Nauseous but at the same time like you will have to "go" soon...yuck... And i have had to "go" for the last few days... But not all the time, and its not like diarrhea or constipation, just more often than one would like. So this all leads me to believe that we have come down with some sort of stomach bug or virus or something ucky. So i have let logan watch a lot of TV while i lie on the couch and watch it with him. Or Gram watches it with him (like in this pic. arent they cute?) . Or he watches it while we are in the potty. Either way- the kid has watched alot of tv this week.

It also means meals have been skimpy. Which really doesnt affect Logan too much, because he just refuses everything we make anyway, but I make it a habit to at least offer him what we have and have a set meal time, but that just hasnt happened these last few days.

Hopefully things get back to normal soon. It will suck having to work this weekend having this problem. ;(
Just so you know, TV wasnt all we did. We still went outside (except yesterday while Ernesto rained and rained and rained) but we ran around the house a lot. I know i was out of breath a least a few times yesterday, and Logan has been cruising around on his fire truck quite a bit too. anyway, i feel better now.

here's something interesting

2006-08-30T23:25:00.000-04:00

My friend just called me. She lives on the street i used to before i moved back to my parents. Turns out that 2 doors down from my old place, the couple living there had a domestic dispute. she came home to find practically every cop in our town on our road. Apparently the dude in the household stabbed the woman. And then when the cops got there, he wouldnt drop the knife and came at the cops and they shot and killed him. Drama in the old hood! jeez..i am glad i am not living there right now. My friend called my from her cell phone, she said the cops and detectives are still everywhere and asking people questions. She actually got her info first from the channel 9 newslady and then asked a cop if it was safe and he confirmed the story. As soon as i turned on the news, the story came on. my friend's son actually heard the gunshot too. Scary shit. People are crazy, i tell you! So, there. I gave you something interesting.

i want sleep

2006-08-30T22:38:00.000-04:00

More specifically, i want Logan to go to Sleep. He is still awake and it is 1030. He has been in bed for an hour and a half now. Bed-time is more difficult these days than it has been in the past. In the past, there really werent any difficulties at all. Maybe it's just his age, or maybe he is still adjusting to spending most nights here and some at his dad's. I dont know. He has also started wanting me to lie down, or put my head on his pillow with him. He will forceably push my head down and wont remove his hand until i lie still. And if i move, his little hand pushes me right back down. So i usually comply for a minute and then try to move quicker than him. I dont comply every time, and i really think i shouldnt at all, but i am just not sure what to do. If i ignore him when he comes to his doorway, he tries to climb his gate. And his bedroom is right at the top of the stairs, and he doesnt control himself too well on the stairs for me to trust he wont fall, so i go to the doorway.

Well, this whole tropical-whatever-Ernesto has thrown off my days. We didnt do anything today, and that included me not going to school, since classes were cancelled. And of course, it was the one class i really was looking forward to. Tomorrow i have one class in the morning and since my evening class only meets every other week, i am off. So Joe and I were thinking about taking logan to the park (if it's nice out). So that could be fun. we will see.

I already dont like my spanish class. one- my teacher doesnt always seem to know what she is talking about, and two- the online version of the workbook she has us using is retarded. And it cost me $50. I tried buying the one at school (which was actually cheaper) that comes as a combo book/online book, but they were sold out and i had homework due. So i paid the damn money. One nice thing is that my sister, Kathleen, is in my class, so we can work on our homework together. And we have each other to practice our vocabulary on. So thats good.

Well, i have absolutely nothing interesting to write about. Sorry. Ernesto turned out to be nothing more than a rain event (it rained all day, and is still raining) but no winds or power outages. Yae. So, i am going to go read a few chapters in my Juvenile Deliquency book and go to bed. (super exciting, huh?) I will try to post something more interesting tomorrow.

the carnival

2006-08-29T00:30:00.000-04:00

check out the carnival...#11 over at the Blogging Chicks!

I forgot to submit an entry this time. i suck. oh well. been kinda busy with homework and stuff. Looks like Ernesto is heading our way, but shouldnt be too much of a problem. Last i checked, he shouldnt even be a hurricane by the time he reaches us. We are prepared anyway, but hopefully it will just be alot of rain. Well, off to bed. i may still have class in the morning so ...

my anniversary

2006-08-26T01:50:00.000-04:00

Turns out, my blogging aniversary came and went and i didnt even notice. i am so inconsiderate to my blog. My first post was aug. 8 2005. And it was pretty lame. It was about staying up too late. (gee, not much has changed there huh?)...Anyways, I just happened to be looking for something in my archives and noticed that i missed the date. So...Here's to my One Year Blogging anniversary. Woo-ee!!

Some of my favorite posts or memories from the last year: (in no particular order)

My Son's Favorite Toy

Happy Birthday Logan

2 yrs Ago

Stupid Drivers Should be SHOT

Earthday Birthday Ruled!!

The Evolution of Dancing

Mother's Day is Coming

Happy Father's Day

Getting Ready to Party

EWWW

The War on Drugs

Is it Me?

A Little more: Is it Me?

vibes

2006-08-26T00:06:00.000-04:00

You know how normally you can pick up some sort of vibes from people to tell how a conversation is going? well, during my interview today, i wasnt able to pick up any vibes at all. I was interviewed my my sister's boss and 2 other men. One man didnt say much at all, my sister's boss was friendly but the other man- i just couldnt read him at all. i have no idea how he felt about the interview. i think i personally did well. i think that if they dont hire me it will be for one of 2 reasons (if not both): 1- my lack of formal training. or 2- my availablity to work (or lack thereof). Other than that, i think my chances are good. Anna will be feeling it out for me over the next couple of days. there are 4 positions open and quite a few applicants, so it will be a little while until they get thru everyone. So until I hear back, we will just have to keep our fingers crossed.

i really really need to get to bed. i have class tomorrow at 9 an hour away from here. joy. So...good nite.

update

2006-08-24T14:06:00.000-04:00

My sister's boss called me and set up an interview for tomorrow morning at 9! i am excited. i just got off the phone with her. anna is excited too. sometimes i think she wants me to get this job more than i do! well, i will definitely post how it all goes tomorrow!

logan's speech eval

2006-08-24T12:19:00.000-04:00

we had logan's speech evaluation today and he did not qualify for the services. which is good because that means he scored high enough on everything! he scored really high on all his motor skills and his cogitive skills. he even did a few things that surprised me. apparently gramma and him practice "big" and "small" thru-out the day, and he was able to pick out the big circle or the small square each time he was asked. and he was able to match colored squares to their matching colors once he was shown what was wanted of him a few times. i knew he already sorted things according to color, but i wasnt sure he would follow her, but he did. he behaved excellently and did well for most of the tasks. we couldnt get him to talk at all or point out any body parts. or test his hearing. so...even tho he doesnt qualify for their services, they did recommend a hearing test so we can be positive there are no problems. he seemed to notice everytime they rang a bell or made some noise on his right side, but when they switched to his left side, he either was over it and ignored them or didnt hear it. i think he ignored them. he is "hyperfocused" and has a tendency to just block out things and totally ignore them when he is busy doing something else. which they said is good for his cognitive abilites, but can make it difficult to evaluate. so anyway, things went well, he's fine.

oh and my sister called to let me know her boss should be calling me to set up an interview today. yae. thats a step in the right direction. this is still scary to me. learning a new skill in a completely different profession...and working at 4 am possibly...eww. but those are the only hours i can really work. my schedule for school is all over the place and when else would i have free- inhome daycare. (which will be my mom. they will all be sleeping still, so it works out for me) well, hopefully this lady calls soon and i can get all nervous over that.
i will post more later if anything comes up.

quickie

2006-08-24T00:00:00.000-04:00

just a little note to let you know how the 1st week of school is going. So far, it's going good. My classes dont seem to bad. I like my teachers. especially my wed nite teacher for Interviewing and Counseling. He goes by John. And there's only 15 kids in my class! i love small classes. they force you to participate, which is good (Sometimes, on my introvert days, this can suck, but it makes you learn so much more)...He's sort of a little disorganized, but seems to have a good grasp of how to get the info across to us. i like him so far. i have two more classes i havent been to yet, thursday nite and sat morning. So we will see how things go there.

Well, tomorrow is Logan's speech evaluation, so i have to go to bed so i can be up and ready early for that. So g'nite!

EWWWW

2006-08-22T00:26:00.000-04:00

OMFG.

The grossest thing just happened to me. While i was sitting at this very computer, in my bedroom, checking my schedule and writing down where my classes are tomorrow...A bug fell off the ceiling and into my hair, which was draped across my back (i was sorta hunched over)...And after much flailing around and not getting it out (arachnoleptic fit), i ran/flailed into the bathroom and flicked my hair again, and what flips onto the counter????? A fucking COCKROACH! in my HAIR! it TOUCHED my SKIN!

ARRGHHHH!!!!!!

Um, vomit? yeah. thats how i felt. Disgusting. eww. grosss. I grabbed some toilet paper and flushed that fucker immediately. And now i dont want to sleep in my room ever again or turn off the lights. ugh. i shiver thinking about it.

and you know what sucks? I was already in bed when i thought about something i had to take care of online with my bank that i shouldnt wait until tomorrow to do. So i got up. And now i am very un-tired. And i have to wake up at 7-ish. and its 1230am now. Yae. Maybe i will sleep in logan's room. Jeez- that was so yucky i just had to share it with you. plus- my mom is sleeping already and would NOT appreciate me waking her up for this. (altho i think that if it were her, she would wake me!)

Good nite. (ya right. i will have nitemares about bugs now.)

sorry

2006-08-20T23:35:00.000-04:00

ya.. um, sorry about that last post. i was feeling a bit down and just vented to all of you here. of course, this blog's name is "just venting" so i suppose i am allowed to do just that every now and then.

Logan came home from his dad's today. he had only been gone since friday (and we do this every weekend, alternating sundays)...but i missed him alot this weekend. more than usual. so i was very happy to see him today. when i walked in the door after work, he heard me come in and came flying out of the other room and right into me. he was so cute. dragged me all over the house until he finally decided to go back in the den with my sister and his cousin. (who were watching him since joe dropped him off around 4 until i got home around 630)...so nice.

Well, tomorrow i am going to buy my books for school and get my oil changed, since i start classes tuesday. i cant believe school is starting already. earlier in the summer it seemed like i had forever until now, and here it is! i am looking forward to it, but at the same time dreading how much work it will be and how hard i will have to work at managing my time and actually getting my homework done. before if i waited til the last minute, it was only for 1 or 2 classes, but this will be 4 classes. i cant afford to procrastinate anything. well..off to niteynite.

living at home is such a drag

2006-08-20T07:45:00.000-04:00

i hate living at home. dont get me wrong, i appreciate the greatness of my parents for letting me and being able to help and being willing to help. but that doesnt make me hate it any less. it is very much not Mine. i have things i have to do as a condition of staying here. like cleaning my room & my bathroom. which i would do anyway, but they have to be done a certain way by a certain day or i am in trouble. Makes me feel 17 again. And my dad and I? it is a well established, and tested, fact that we get along waaaaay better when i dont live here. As in, after enough time living here, we wont be getting along at all, on any day. Now its just every other weekend or so, but it will get worse and i hate it. I also hate that because i have chosen school- that leaves me with little work opportunities (unless the job at the hospital comes thru), so i am broke- so i have to live here. i cant afford anywhere else. And if that job at the hospital comes thru, then i am stuck here too. B/c I would be going into work at 4 am. Where else, but here, am i going to have someone to watch logan 4-8am? Right, no where. So altho, i really understand why it is awesome to have such loving, caring parents, it doesnt make me on the inside-in my head- hate it any less. I know my dad will never understand this concept. hopefully he wont read this , b/c it wont help.

it is worth it, right? To get my degree and all that? Even tho i have no idea what my liberal studies degree will do for me and i still need my masters after this to do what i want...its worth it in the end right? for me and for logan? because thats what i tell myself when i have a bad day like today. It's worth it for the end results. things will get better after....tell me i am right!

showers

2006-08-19T23:20:00.000-04:00

I went to a friend's Bridal shower today. I had a great time too. Why is it tho, that as a mom, i feel sort of guilty for being glad Logan went to his dad's and i had a great time without him? I miss him alot today...I mean, i get him back tomorrow evening as soon as i get home from work, so its not like he's been gone long. I had last night off too, and sat home and did nothing. it was great. very quiet. Just a thought...

So are you all going and visiting my mom & my sister's blogs?? Make sure you do. they seem to enjoy the results so far, and i am hoping that by getting some traffic, they will be encouraged to keep it up.

Well, no blogging chicks carnival this sunday, but feel free to check them out- i finally figured out how to put the blogroll into a scrollbar-window thing, so its a little less cluttered on my side bar there. I also alphebetized my link list and added a few more. I read more blogs than i list, and eventually i will add them all to the list. Anyway, it's time for bed now, nite!

i did it again!

2006-08-18T23:11:00.000-04:00

well, i convinced another family member to join the blogging ranks...my sister. the one with the kid...so go visit her too and tell her hi!!

she's over at He will be my Squishy

go check it out

2006-08-17T21:51:00.000-04:00

hey guys! my mom has finally decided to join the cool club like all of us and get herself a blog. yae! it is her first one, and i think she has only one posting, but go over and give her a nice welcome! (hopefully getting some comments will encourage her to keep it up) be nice too- she's just getting started and it did take some goading on my part to get her to do it!

Her site is Queen Geek's Life

See you there!!

gag

2006-08-16T13:53:00.000-04:00

So in today's battle of naptime- logan has decided to rebel against me by sticking his hand in his mouth so far that he gags. He did it 3 times in a row just now. About made himself puke. What is this?!? arrgghh...

sweet little boy

2006-08-16T12:38:00.000-04:00

i want to know where my sweet little boy has gone. he has been replaced by a two year old. dont get me wrong- the sweet little boy is still there, just not all the time anymore. the sweetness is interrupted now by fits and tantrums and general terrible two's behavior. somedays are worse than others too. especially the days that i wake up on the wrong side of the bed after too little sleep.

he wants to play outside constantly. which is good and i dont mind, but sometimes we just have to come in. like when it starts to rain or the bugs start bothering us. (well, he doesnt care that he gets eaten alive by bugs, but i do!) sometimes the bugs are only in certain parts of the yard. like the deer flies- they generally hang near the front porch. and they are vicious little bastards- they take a chunk out of you when they attack. So i will try to get logan to play in another part of the yard. sometimes he goes willingly, but many times he has a complete meltdown instead. and god help me if i decide the bugs are bad enough to warrant going back in the house. i have had to carry him in flailing and screaming many a times.

and he is so stubbornly determined now to do the things he wants. the way he wants, when he wants. like feed the fish. he will push the chair over to the tank, we will get the fish food for him and he will feed them. (and then try to touch them or grab them too) and then its time to leave the fish alone. many times this results in a fight. and then he wants to do it again 5 minutes later. sorry bud- cant feed the fish too much. and then the tantrum starts. its just awesome, lemme tell you.

even tho i love the little guy more than anything, he certainly pushes me to my mental limits sometimes. He used to go to sleep so wonderfully. and now it is an ordeal every nap time and every night for bed. i havent changed his routine, and i try to wear his butt out during the day, but still sleep time has become difficult. all of a sudden he wants me to lie down with him. i have never done that with him, and the only thing i can think of is that now he and joe share a small room and many times logan ends up in joes bed with him instead of staying in his own small bed. so i dont know what to do about that either. and he has also begun trying to climb the gate in his doorway. his room is upstairs (with all of ours) and altho he can pretty much handle the stairs, he wants to play on them too much to be trusted without a gate. not sure what to do about that either.

well, this is a long enough post about all this.

blogging chicks carnival

2006-08-13T14:58:00.000-04:00

go check out the 10th carnival of the blogging chicks!

i am not on my computer today, so again, i dont have the spiffy graphic...but i did post an entry this time. enjoy!!

funny schedules

2006-08-11T22:09:00.000-04:00

This week and next week Joe is working nights. 4-midnight to be exact. So that means i had to rework my schedule. This week, Joe had logan tue & thur during the day. So we all 3 went to the beach. and had a blast. Today (friday) he had logan during the day again, but i switched my shift at work and worked a day shift. And then tomorrow, joe takes logan in the morning and keeps him until sometime sunday morning. So that will be the 1st day i actually have "time-off". I will spend most of cleaning and finishing sorting thru boxes and then going to work sat nite. It felt weird to work during the day today. It has thrown me all off. i keep thinking its later in the weekend, b/c that is when i normally work the day shift. I have the same schedule next week. Again, its just throwing me off.

Tonight, my parents went out (like normal for friday nite, except i am usually not home to notice) and my sister and I took the boys to the park. Logan had so much fun. there was another 2 year old named micheal running around the toddler part and they played so well together. it was great. I talked to his mom for a while and she was nice too. It made me wish i had more friends with kids to do this sort of thing with. Or maybe that the friends i do have with kids would do this sort of thing. but they dont. i dont know what it is they do with their kids... oh well. Logan got all tuckered out and ended up pretty cranky. He woke up at 630 this morning. And only took a 1/2 hour nap today. so bedtime came around 830 and he was asleep around 9. hopefully he wont wake up so early tomorrow, and i will go to bed soon and then we can both be well rested in the A.M. we'll see, i suppose.

well, not much thats too interesting going on here, so i will go now. Have a good weekend.

and it was good

2006-08-10T23:47:00.000-04:00

The beach today was great. The water looked beautiful, but was quite a bit colder than 2 days ago. Brisk. Invigorating. But cold. and logan wouldnt go near it at all. even less than the other day. But he played happily in the sand with his shovels and pails. the 3 of us had another lovely day. I hope to do it again on saturday. And then next week as well, since joe is on nights again next week, he will be available during the day to go. I dont really get my "time off" from logan by spending all of joe's time with them but we are having fun as a family and i prefer it that way. Too bad me & joe are still in "limbo". Oh well. things will work out the way they will. I am not stressing it.

What i am stressing is my lack of sleep. why cant i get tired when normal people do? It is almost midnight and i am only just now beginning to feel sleepy. And i am NOT doing what my old counselor told me to (which was just throw back a few glasses of wine a night. Um, hello- thats how dependencies start jackass. and for someone who thought i might have a tendency towards that (why- i dont know, he just did) that isnt exactly the greatest advice. so i quit seeing him. and since my insurance SUCKS and doesnt want to pay for hardly anything, i havent gone and found a new one. i think i will just convince my gyno or my rheumatologist to help me, because i am also not going back to my general family practice guy who charged $205 for 5 minutes with me and wasnt all that nice . i will let you know how that goes.) so i am left not sleeping until late and then sleeping crappy b/c of the arthritis. Blah. And i dont necessarily want a med that will knock me flat out, b/c i need to get up in the morning and be able to wake up if logan does. I just want some thing to relax me in the evening. For a short period- maybe to train my body to get tired then. i dont know. i thought going out in the sun and running around would do it.

It worked for logan. Who i changed bedtime to 9pm for, who tonight for my mom and sister (who were babysitting) was put to bed at 8 b/c he was tired and who promptly passed out in less than 5 minutes. Amazing. I love that little tuckered out kid. well, i am not tuckered out, but i think i will turn in. After i go read all your blogs...nite!

another good day

2006-08-09T23:55:00.000-04:00

Logan napped again today. The last 2 weeks must have been some sort of fluke. or a result of the lack of outside play. we have had swarms of mosquitos lately that have been preventing us from really playing outside. But my dad has begun fogging the yard every couple of days and it has really helped. I have realized just how much energy my son has and it is WAY more than i have. But somehow i need to get him to use it all up.

Today, we played pretty good in the house and around 130 he went willingly upstairs for his nap. He didnt go to sleep right away, but he played quietly in his room for a while and never opened his door! And eventually went to sleep. I was shocked. i, of course, took a nap too. It was great! For dinner tonite, we went to auntie kathleen's and had homemade chicken strips and fried potatoes. Logan did not eat. Then we all went to the park: Logan, myself, Auntie Kathleen, uncle Aaron and cousin devin. We got there around 7 and didnt leave til it started to get dark around 8. Logan did not want to leave. He was having such a good time. The park has two playgrounds- a regular one and a toddler one. He was all over that toddler one. Devin was too, but with assistance. My kid pitched a fit when it was time to go, but when we got home, he was all excited to brush his teeth and take a bath. He ran up the stairs saying "teeeh" & "baaath"...It is nice he is starting to say things. So we had a bath and brushed our teeth and then we went to bed. He only opened his door once, and after that i heard him playing for a little while and around 945 i checked on him and he was out. Oh and i changed his bedtime to 9. From 8. i liked it at 8, but he just never seemed that tired. plus it is still daylight out and he just wouldnt fall asleep for like at least 2 hours. the new bedtime is working out pretty good.

Tomorrow, Joe, logan and I are going to the beach again. I cant wait. I think we are going to Cocoa beach this time instead of Playalinda. I want some variety in my beach going experiences. Maybe logan will test the water this time, who knows. i doubt it tho. And joe and i have decided that we will be taking him to the zoo one of these weekends soon.

Oh and i went to the rheumotologist today. again. and he finally admitted i have rheumatoid arthritis. He didnt want to say so last time because "i am so young"...But after ordering a more definitive blood test and it coming back positive, he had no choice. So he started me on another med - plaquenil. (its also used to treat and prevent malaria. so i needn't worry about malaria this summer. whoo-ee. Wierd tho isnt it?) its a milder drug than many that are out there, so it wont affect my liver or kidneys or things like that and it takes a long time to really get in your system and work. but it is supposed to slow down the damage the arthritis causes. So we will see... i start it tomorrow. i will tell you in a month or so if it is doing any good. in the meantime, i am supposed to not wait tables so much as it definitely will aggrivate the pain and stuff.

And on another note, Logan goes to the speech therapy people to be evaluated and see if he needs therapy in two weeks.

thats all. nitey nite.

good day

2006-08-08T22:09:00.000-04:00

today was a good day. logan, joe and i went to the beach today for a couple of hours. we had a great time too. nothing real exciting. the water was the perfect temp and it was really clear and an awesome shade of blue-green. logan, of course, wouldnt go near it at all. i got him sort of close by showing him some shells, but that was as good as it got. he played in the sand and had a grand time. after we got home, i went outside with him twice. the second time, we played with the hose (as usual) and he had lots of fun watering everything. all the plants, the tree, the flag, my car and eventually i got the hose back and started spraying him. he ran all over the driveway away from the water. when he got the hose back, he would change directions so fast that i would have to duck and run to avoid getting wet, which he found hysterical. as time went on, he began to realize the point of the game. and he got good at it, eventually spraying me head on and soaking me. by the time we came in, we were both soaked.

after all the fun we had, logan passed out with in a half hour tonight at bedtime. it was so cool.

well, i took some sleepy meds tonite, since he is sleeping already. and they are kicking in! yea! so nitey nite.

summer is almost over

2006-08-07T22:45:00.000-04:00

Where has the summer gone? I start school again on the 21st. its coming up fast. faster than i want it to. I still need to take advantage of this time off and go to the beach and the gym and to sort thru all my stuff...what have i been doing all this time?

I have been feeling a little down this last week or so and i am not exactly sure what sparked it. Of course, it doesnt really need to have a specific cause because, regardless of the reason, i have been feeling a little low. Maybe it is because now that Joe has moved out of our old place, i know this is where i live, and i really dont have anywhere else to go stay. Before Joe moved, i could just go crash there a night or two if i wanted. But now, he is renting a single room. A room he shares with Logan when he has him. Not really any room for me. It has made me feel sort of trapped here at my parents house. Dont get me wrong, i do like it here. its a nice big house with a nice big yard and my parents and i get along alright. (we have our normal irritations with each other, but thats normal. at least with us it is.) but its not mine. I have no real control or say over anything here. I have to listen to their rules. They are much much neater people than me and therefore, i get told to pick up my messes all the time. And half the time, i dont even know what mess they are talking about, because i just dont see it as a mess. The reason i feel trapped also has to do with the fact that before joe and I separated, i went back to school. we came up with a plan for me to finish my bachelors and to do that, i cut back at work and worked out an agreement with my mom for babysitting. So that means i make crap for money. (especially with the arthritis thing- i am not serving as much so i am making even less money!) And that means i can not afford to live on my own. Not if i want to finish school at least. My classes interfere with any possible work schedule. Plus i dont have babysitting for when i work. A work shift is at least 5 hours. school is no more than 3 hours. my mom is ok with 3, but not 5. And the school is during the day where as work is usually at night. Again, mom is cool with the days but not the nights. And now Joe's job has him working for the next 2 weeks from 4pm-midnight, so that totally screws up everything for me. my mom says she wont sit so i can work (she could change her mind and if she doesnt, my sister offered to help). Since joe and i separated, they do nothing if they think it is benefiting him. according to my parents- he left me so he left the privledges of this family too. except that we are not over and done with, he is still a part of my family and most importantly --its not him they are screwing by not helping me- its me! If joe doesnt have a job, logan wont have health insurance. and once joe learns how to manage his money better, that will mean more money for both logan and me to start receiving. His job is not forgiving in any way. My job is. i have no bills (not really at least)....

anyway. i am just being retarded. I am also STILL on hold with GEICO. They are taking forever to get to me and its starting to piss me off. i have never waited on hold this long with them. arggghhh. Good news today- logan took a nap. with relatively little fuss. and bedtime was similar- no real fuss. I love it when he is good. ;) makes my day so much smoother and less stressful.

So anyway- i am taking 14 credit hours this coming semester. (4 classes). i havent taken that many in quite some time. The most i took was last spring and that was 3 classes (9credits). And that was tough. I am sure i will do ok, but i am still starting to get nervous. cant help it.

this is long enough and makes no sense, so i will leave it at this. maybe i will edit it tomorrow.

-k-