Friday, November 03, 2006

i suck!

Today i sucked at work. i have been doing really well the last couple of weeks and then today i had a day where I just could stick anyone!...and everyone was all reassuring that it happens to everyone, and i have seen it happen to other people, but it still sucked. I was shocked how many patients I had to stick twice or if i missed the first time, i just let someone else stick them the second time. And i wasn't even up on the floors...On the floors you have all the patients who are really sick, many of them old and dying with crappy veins and today i was in express, which is the outpatient lab where you usually see much healthier people with better veins (altho not always!) and i couldn't get it right today. I was just off. I felt off this morning...and it continued thruout the day. Like little waves of lightheadedness. (is that even a word?)...

Anyway, i did my best not to stress out over it, altho i told everyone that "i suck" and then laughed about it. i am not going to freak out about it and i will do my best not to dwell on it b/c that will just make me anxious and nervous come Monday and that wont do me any good. It was just a bad, sucky day. Just the 1st of many probably. (at least thats what they tell me. most of them say that everyone pretty much sucks for their first year and then it just clicks) and i have to be honest, I have gotten nothing but positive feedback from everyone. I have gotten a few patients who were difficult sticks and impressed my trainers, so i know i am good at this.

Ok, enough with the pity/pep talk to myself. Just had to get that out there tho. **sigh** All better now. Logan is off to his daddy's new place of residence for the weekend. Joe got all moved in and seems much happier where he is living now, and his roommate has a little girl who is about to turn 4, so Logan will have a playmate every other week when he is there. He will probably really enjoy that. She is there this weekend, so i will hear about it by Sunday.

School is going good, getting a little stressful as the semester drags on, but i am holding steady still. I try not to think about the amount of work i have to do until i am doing it. I have learned to just take it one assignment, one class at a time. Of course, i have had to learn to manage my time a little better (which i still have not mastered at all) so i am better able to space things out. But, i do have a spanish quiz tomorrow that i dont think i am all that prepared for.

and my teacher in that class drives me nuts. she is crazy and kind of bitchy. She always has an attitude, especially with the students if they say something or ask something she doesnt like, or dont know the answer to what she is asking. That last part is especially frustrating because we are in spanish 1 because we dont know anything about spanish. and some of these kids are really really trying, but they just dont get it that well. they always have their homework done and we talk about how much they study, but when they dont know the answers to the in-class oral stuff, it sounds like she is berating them by saying things like "you have to actually do your homework to learn this stuff" and "why dont you know this yet" and other similar sentiments...and if you could hear her condescending tone of voice, it would irritate you too.

She is also trying to change her grading policies for attendance halfway thru the semester...She has told us 2 different things regarding the way she grades for attendance and participation...one from the syllabus and one slightly different (but close enough) way. then last week, she was explaining grades to someone and she used a completely different point scale to compute that portion of the grade. And coming from someone who has taken 120credit hours, her way is totally fucked and very unfair. This one student was in the hospital and instead of losing the 1-2 points for a day of absence (a 1/4 - 1/2 point per credit hour..she has never been specific on that and its a 4 credit hour course) she took off a whole point for every hour this girl was gone. If she does it that way, if you miss 3 classes you are in the negative for points. And most teachers will "excuse" absences that have documentation (like hospital/court) and she wont. She has yelled at students and snatched papers right out of students hands and now she is trying to tell us we have to be at a different final exam time and day than what the university has posted.

When students register for classes, they also tend to look at the final exam schedule to make sure it is "doable"...we are taking a saturday class because many kids cannot go during the week and she is trying to tell us we have to take our final on a friday afternoon, in the middle of the day. she said it was a college-wide change that just occurred, but i have searched and searched for that change on the calendars and i cant find any mention of it for this semester. She is just crazy and mean.

And i have just devoted entirely too much energy to her. but i feel better. Just venting, i guess. ;)

Well, it is time for bed. Friday nite off and i spent it watching all my DVR'ed shows, bitching about school and work to all of you, and now i am going to bed early. I freaking rock!

Good nite.



Kristie :: 9:08 PM :: 1 comments

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